Nigeria - Mabadeje Abiodun

I’ll like to start by saying that this book is one of several that I have read on this topic and which are real eye opener. I say this with great sense of responsibility and sensitivity. As a motivational speaker too, the message of positive mental attitude is one that I hold so dearly.

Another reason why this book is endeared to my heart is the simplicity of language with which it is written and the precision of the presentation of the message in each of the chapters that make up the book – “As A Man Thinketh.”

As part of my assessment of this small but great book, I’ll like to highlight some thoughts that I call “Powerpoints” in each of the chapter as they ministered to me.

Foreword

“They themselves are makers of themselves, by virtue of the thoughts which they choose and encourage. That mind is the master weaver, both of the inner garment of character and the outer garment of circumstance, and that, as they may have hitherto woven in ignorance and pain they may now weave in enlightenment and happiness.”

Chapter One
“A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of his thoughts.”

“Of all the beautiful truths pertaining to the soul which have been restored and brought to light in this age, none is more gladdening or fruitful of divine promise and confidence than this – that man is the master of thought, the moulder of character and the maker and shaper of condition, environment and destiny.”

Chapter Two
“Good thoughts bear good fruits, bad thoughts bear bad fruits.”

“The man who does not shrink from self-crucifixion can never fail to accomplish the object upon which his heart is set.”

Chapter Three
“As you cannot have a sweet and wholesome abode unless you admit the air and sunshine into your rooms, so a strong body and a bright, happy or serene countenance can only result from the admittance into the mind of thoughts of joy and goodwill and serenity.”

Chapter Four
“The will to do springs from the knowledge that we can do. Doubt and fear are the great enemies of knowledge, and he who encourages them, who does not slay them, thwarts himself at every step.”

“He who has conquered doubt and fear has conquered failure.”

Chapter Five
“All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts.”

Chapter Six
“The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird waits in the egg. And in the highest vision of a soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities.”

“You cannot travel within and stand still without.”

Chapter Seven
“Yes, humanity surges with uncontrolled passion, is tumultuous with ungoverned grief, is blown about by anxiety and doubt. Only the wise man, only he whose thoughts are controlled and purified, makes the winds and the storms of the soul obey him.”

In closing, I believe that to be able to think concretely, one must learn to be in a state of serenity often. It is usually at times like this that one can be open and receptive to the “still small voice” on the inside.

Jonathan Livingston Seagull
Assessment by Mabadeje Abiodun (Nigeria)

This book is basically like the first – “As A Man Thinkeh” in the sense that its message is also a call to all human to begin to look within and draw out that God-given ability. The only difference though, is that “Jonathan Livingston Seagull” uses a story that has characters to teach its message.

And this is particularly good because while you’re reading a story you’re learning and being motivated at the same time.

If I were to give another title to this story I’ll simply call it ‘Break the Limits.’

Every man is his own enemy or friend. We are all architects of our own destinies. We can do/be all we want irrespective of the opinions of others. Someone once said, “Your environment is not meant to change you, you are meant to change your environment.”

Another point is that this story establishes the truth of God’s word, which says, “Be not conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Conformity to the world leads to deformity of the mind (or man) but transformation leads to reformation.

“Those who follow the crowd will have no crowd following them.” (Anonymous)

Jonathan Livingston Seagull dared to be different. He challenged the norm. it was of course not pleasurable at first for him, but at the end the crowd came to follow him. They listened to his wealth of experience.

Some Powerpoints from the Story:
“How much more there is now to living! Instead of our drab slogging forth and back to the fishing boats, there’s a reason to life! We can list ourselves as creatures of excellence and intelligence and skill. We can be free! We can learn to ‘fly!’”

“Your whole body, from wingtip to wingtip,” Jonathan would say, other times, “is nothing more than your thought itself, in a form you can see. Break the chains of your thought, and you break the chains of your body, too…”

Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude

PART 1 –Part 1 - Content Review

There are quite a number of points from the book that have significance to me. From the introduction to the very end. The first sentence in the introduction, 'The greatest secret of success is, there is no secret.

This is so true a statement that if more and more people will wake up to this reality our world will be a better place to live in. So many peoplestill believe that God loves some people more than others, hence He has bestowed more ability or revealed some secretes to them, which is why they are more at advantage than others are.

The last quote in the introduction by Pat Ryan, 'it's impossible for you to conceive how far up is, except for the limitations of your own mind. Really, no one knows how far up is, and no one can be stopped from going as far as he/she wants to go in life except for the fact that that person says ‚'this is how far I choose to go and no more.'

We are all limited in life to the extent that we limit ourselves.

If you know what you want, you are more apt to recognize it when you see it. When you read a book, for example, you will recognize opportunities to help you get what you want.

This is so true; at least I know that in my own life I have seen this happen. I am a graduate of Insurance but the day I told myself that I wouldn't practice the profession I was still an undergraduate and on that day was reading a book. So I agree and encourage more people to
read, because the answer to any and every question can be found on the pages at books.

'You have everything to gain and nothing to loose by trying. Success is achieved and maintained by those who keep trying with PMA'

Someone once said that, 'It is better to try and fail than to fail to try, because the man who tries and fails is better than the man who fails to try. And just trying alone affords one the opportunity to again experience, which is generally said to be the best teacher.

'Every adversity has the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.'

In life no matter how prayerful or holy one is there'll always be times that some bad things that one is not expecting will happen. But the truth is, really it is not what happens that matter but how one responds to what happens. Do I allow myself to be broken by it or I brace up myself and brake through it.

I remember that I repeated SSS1 (Senior Secondary School) when I was in secondary school, but I had to take up the challenge not to allow that happen again, or else I would be sent away from school. What eventually happened was that by the time I got to SSS3 I had become so to say, 'A force to be reckoned with in School.'

I held the post of the Assistant Senior Prefect, class captain, president of the school's Christian fellowship. And the drama co-ordinator of the fellowship's drama group. This is just a confirmation of what the bible says, 'All things work together for our good.'

'You will develop your mental powers when you learn and develop the habit of asking yourself questions.'

Anthony Robbins said, 'The quality of your life is directly proportional to the quality of questions you ask yourself and others around you.'

The importance of questions cannot be over-emphasized. And the beautiful thing is that there is no question that does not have an answer.

Everyone has creative ability, but most people haven't learned to use it.

This statement is so 'profoundly true.' God never made anyone to live in mediocrity and obscurity hence the ability(ies) at our disposals. But many will remain in obscurity because they fail to recognized their ability.

'It has been my observation that people are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.'

This is very true and it applies to every area of life. According to Bishop David Oyedepo, 'It is our choices and not chances that determined our destinies.' Every man is a product of his own decisions. One can either be sad or happy depending on what he chooses to have.

'You are the most important living person. Stop and think about yourself; in all the history of the world there was never anyone else exactly like you, in all the infinity of time to come, there will never be another."

What better way can this be said? The greatest discovery in the world is the discovery of self.To come to the realization of this truth can change the entire life of anyone.

Part 2 - Personal Impact

The book is really an inspirational one that opens one's eyes to deep truths and if one will act upon its contents nothing will be impossible to that person.

And indeed I've been really inspired by the contents of this book. But I want to say that the chapter that talks about OPM- Other People's Money (i.e chapter 13) is really an eye opener for me.

Before now I had held the view that bankers are just out there to make money off you. But the book says the banker is any friend. I had always looked at bankers as people who want you to collect loans and don't want you to be able to repay so that they can confiscate your collateral.

Well, I have to say that this view of mine is not unconnected to the way banking operations are carried out here in any society. I can assure you that so many people hold the same view as mine.

But I have started to look at bankers from a different perspective. I am already thinking of ways I can approach my banker and for what in particular so that we can start a relationship that goes beyond just putting money in bank and collecting it.

Talking about OPM, I now have better idea as to how to go about my works. I have three books, which I want publish and organise a formal launching. All the money that will be needed to birth this project wil lbe costing me about two hundred thousand naira (N200,000).
An amount of money, which I do not have, but through O.P.M I know what to do and how to go about it.

I have to also say that the ideas presented in the book do not in anyway negate my values, goals and beliefs.

I am a very strong believer in positive thinking and it is a core of my messages anywhere that Igo.

Part 3 - Summary

The book 'Success through a Positive Mental Attitude' is one of such great books that I have read that deal in depth with the subject of positive mental alertness.

While I will admit that books like 'Think and Grow Rich,' by Napoleon Hill and 'Power of Positive Thinking' by Norman Vincent Pearl, are classics in this class, I also have to say that this book indeed should be in the collection of anyone who believes in or wants to succeed in life, no matter the area of endeavour.

I must say that I commend the efforts of the authors in the way they have worked to find practical examples to establish the fact that every point in the book is practicable and that anyone can experience them. The only thing it requires is the will to go for it.

In terms of its value, I will simply say it is invaluable. Anyone that pays to buy a book such as this will agree with me that it is worth more than whatever amount of money that must have been paid to get it. Really, books like this usually cost less than their worth. Iteresting you don't want to drop it till you are done reading it. There are so many authors but not so many can't hold the readers attention and interest from front page to back page.

As already pointed out, Chapter 13 I will say has the most impact on me because of the way O.P.M is treated and how the authors have changed my perception of who my banker is to me. I can't really say that any chapter or idea in the book is least helpful.

As it relates to recommending any idea in the book or the book itself to anyone at anytime ‚Äì it would be my pleasure.

Real Magic
Assessment by Mabadeje Abiodun

I am going to start by first and foremost saying that if there is any reason why students don't go beyond stage one, it is this book. I don't know whether to say it is highly technical, but I sure can say that it is not an interesting book to read. Reading through a book like this will take a lot of discipline and determination, which are necessary qualities of a leader or any one aspiring to be one, leadership is not about convenience, it is a sacrifice!

I remember that when I first started reading the book I got to around the sixty-sixth page and had to stop, left it for some time and then came back to start all over again. I know that in-between reading this book I have finished reading some other books.

Part 1 - Content Review

"I have gone beyond "believing" in -miracles, to a place that I call "Knowing". This is one thing that I think we all must aspire to have (I mean to get to the place where we know). The Bible talks about Abraham in Rom. 4:21, "Being fully persuaded…" This to me is a place of knowing "You know that you know" it is a place of real magic.

* "This path requires a commitment to your own inner transformation. Your inner transformation cannot be completed from an intellectual or scientific perspective"

What better way can one put this, "The natural man cannot received the things of the sprit for they are foolishness to him…"

I know that no matter what the environment looks like the truth is that if one will learn to take control of his internal environment he will eventually gain control over his external environment.

"This other realm defies our laws of science and logic it is a place within each of us that is free of ordinary boundaries, rules, and limitations."

I find this part really interesting in that it agrees with what the Bible says in 1st Tim. 6:20. "…and beware of science, which is falsely called knowledge"

I mean we cannot deny the place of science and its achievements in our World of today but it has its limitations.

"The World is not to be put in order, the world is order incarnate. It is for us to put ourselves in unison with this World".

This reminds of me of a quote from (Success through a positive Mental Attitude "If a man is right his word will be right." The problem is not with the world it is with us. I believe that the 'Genesis foundation' is still in tact. "All that God created is good and in order" our own responsibility is to fit into the order.

"What is in this experience that I can use in a beneficial way, even if I don't understand why if is happening right now?"

This is a question. Anthony Robbins said, "The quality of your life is directly proportional to the quality of questions you ask yourself and others around you" He also said, "When you ask the right question, you will find the right answer." The place of questions cannot be over emphasized.

It is true that things happen and will always do, though we don't expect nor pray for them in anyway, but as Napoleon Hill and W. Clement stone put it, "Every adversity has in it the seed of an equivalent benefit." And the Bible in Rom: 8:28 says "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God and to them who are called according to his purpose."

"I suggest that your presence in the world of form has a grand mission and that you can discover and begin thinking, feeling and behaving in ways consistent with that mission."

" The great and glorious master piece of man is how to live with purpose."
Living a purposeful life is the grand thing as far as I am concerned. There is no one created of God who is not here for a mission. Without the discovery at this mission life has no meaning. A purposeless life is a useless life. According to Myles Munroe, "Where purpose is not known abuse is inevitable." And "The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose." Bottom line.

"My contention was that being broke is a temporary state of affairs that afflicts almost everyone at one time or another, but being poor is an attitude, a set of beliefs that gets reinforced when we shift to blaming life circumstances for the condition of poverty."

Majority of Nigerians fit perfectly into this description. Family backgrounds and the government are always the scapegoats. Some even think it is because they are black. What they do not realize is that it is not the blackness of their skin but that of their thinking. "As a man thinketh so is he."

"The mental part, the invisible part, literally, and I truly mean literally, shapes the way the physical results are manifested."

"The soul never thinks without a picture."
Let me just quote a passage of scripture and then end this part. 1 Cor. 4: 16-18, " Therefore we do not loose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of a glory. While we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal."

PART 2 -Personal Impact & Practical Value

The message of the book Real Magic I must confess is strong meat. You must have a flexible mind to be able to accept and absorb what the book teaches. From the assessment of part 1 (i.e. content review), I want to say that I share the beliefs of the author.

VALUES AND GOALS
I am a strong believer in living a purposeful life and by that I also mean that even the things you do on a day-to-day basis. Your life vocation or profession.
"A man's gift will make room for him and bring him before great men."-Pro. 18:16
Do you see a man who excels in his work he will stand before kinds and not before unknown men."- Pro. 22: 29 There is no vacuum in nature. My life is not a mistake. I am not in this world at this time by a mistake of some sort. It is all part of the divine plan of God for my life. It is at this time in creation that the world needs me and that is why I did not come any other time before now or after now. This is the best time to be the motivational speaker and author that I am.
"By contract the spiritual being is focused on empowering himself and others to higher and higher levels of consciousness and achievement".

RELATIONSHIPS
In life if you don't step on people's toes, people will step on your toes. Whichever way the table turns, living in peace both with yourself and others is very pivotal to creating "Real Magic" in your life. Holding people in unforgiveness blocks the answer to your own prayers, The writer of Hebrews says "Pursue peace with all men…" Heb.12:14

BELIEFS
While I agree with the general message of the book, I want to disagree with the author on his teaching as touching "Your Relationship to your own Death"… pg 239-245. You might say because of religious bias and sentiment. Death as thought by the Bible is inevitable (and I am talking about physical death here- the separation of the soul from the body), but death as taught in the book of revelations goes beyond even physical death. There is punishment for the wicked in hell and eternal enjoyment for believers in God through Jesus Christ. Wickedness as used here includes not accepting Christ as Lord and Saviour. So to teach that there's no suffering after death negates what the Bible teaches.

PART THREE - Summary
Should I say the book is interesting? I would be lying. You must be serious minded to read through it. I said at the beginning that this book I believe is the reason why most student will not go beyond the first level. Simply put it is not an interesting book to read. Why? I can't say. May be too technical, may be just too whatever.

However, the book is a valuable material for the serious minded. Those who believe in strong meat as opposed to just the milk. A good reference material I will describe it as. I wouldn't say I found anything most helpful or least helpful in the book, but by and large it is a good book and worth having, I emphasize for the 'serious minded.' As per recommending the book, let me say I have my reservations. I say this because it will take a lot to get just anyone to read a book like this.

The New Dynamics Of Winning
Assessment by Mabadeje Abiodun (Nigeria)

1. Discuss the main ideas that you found most important in this book and discuss why they were important to you.

I will like to start by saying that there are many ideas in this book that I find important. Starting from the very first chapter to the end (i.e the 21 day plan) these ideas abound.

In chapter one, “The Drive to Win” was discussed. I believe very sincerely that the drive to win above every other thing is most important. I mean, what is the use of my talent/gifts or ideas if I do not have the drive to put them to use.

I remember one evening I was going to make a speech in a church, The Redeemed Evangelical Mission (TREM), it was an all women's meeting. While on the way, a thought in form of a question dropped in my heart. And it was this, “If someone were to ask me, what drives me?”

For a moment I thought over this question and after a while the only answer I could find or give was, “what drives me is where I'm driving too.” In order words the reasons why I do the things I do is because there is a picture I have ahead of me. And waking up every single day with that picture in mind gives me the zest for moving on not minding whatever obstacle I may encounter on the way. It therefore means that anyone who does not have where he/she is driving to will have no drive to drive him.

Since trying to pick on all the ideas that I consider important to me and discussing them won't be possible for the purpose of this assessment, I will just pick at random and discuss.

“Losers let things happen, winners make things happen.”

It was a wise man that said, “Others see things as they are and ask why, but I see things as they ought to be and ask why not.”

The bible in James Chapter 2 teaches about faith and action and it says emphatically that faith is of no use if action is not added. “Faith without work is dead.” - James 2: 20.

Losers usually don't take deliberate steps to ensure that they get what they want, and when they do any small obstacles, they give up.

2. Can you relate the ideas or concepts in this book to your personal circumstances in life such as your relationships, your beliefs, your goals, your values, etc.? Explain.

As written above, having a drive for ones life is important. One of my goals in life is to become one of the world's greatest motivators both as a speaker and writer, with my books being translated into other languages of the world.

For this to happen, it is going to take more than a stroke of luck. That is why I must as such as it is within my powers look for opportunities to speak and continue to write it may not come easy, but I do know that the day opportunity meets preparation success is inevitable. Today's preparation is the antidote against tomorrow's failure. We must all endeavour to do the best we can today while we look forward to tomorrow with expectation for its opportunities.

3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please explain.

On pages 58-59, the author, Dennis Waitley writes on “The Five Fundamentals of self-esteem.”

Trying to list them out here again may not be a good strategy for management of time and space.

But suffice to say here that I totally and completely agree with these ideas as presented in the book.

Self-esteem goes with self-image and self-perception. I have always been of the belief that the way I see myself (or esteem myself) will determine the way I present myself. Invariably, the way I present myself determines the way I am received. It therefore means that if I see myself in a positive light I will be able to present myself well and this will go a long way in determining whether I succeed or not.

The second fundamental simply talks about self-worth and self-trust. Believe in my own person (my physical self) and my own abilities. If I have ability in writing I should believe in it and make the best of it. And if I am not at home with calculations I shouldn't see myself as a second fiddle because of that. Every one has areas of strength and weaknesses. It will do a lot of good to find what you are good at and develop yourself in it.

Also in chapter 9, the author writes on The Quality of Leadership, and one of the sub-topics is “Opportunities, Not Leadership.”

Reading through the idea presented under this sub-topic reminds me of what I read in one of the books of Dale Carnegie titled - “The Leader in You.”

Simply put, the days of dictatorial leadership are over. What obtains today is leadership by co-operation and association, where every one has a sense of belonging from the topmost official to the man at the gate; every one's view and opinion counts.

Then the idea of true leadership presented, which is drawn from the book on Oriental Leadership, I find true indeed.

The master has no mind of her own.
She works with the mind of the people.
She is good to people who are good.
She is also good to people who aren't good…
She trusts people who are trustworthy.
She also trusts people who aren't trustworthy…

The art of leadership or being a leader has gone beyond the level of 'I am the boss' or just occupying a position and thinking that you are the 'Alpha and Omega,' and whatever you say is the final. This stance is captured when the author writes, “Good leadership motivates others to their highest levels by offering opportunities, not obligations,”

4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, explain how.

Though I will not say the book has changed my thinking, I will agree that it has challenged me.

Reading the stories of the different athletes in the different sports that made success of themselves in spite of the odds that were against most of them has helped to strengthen my resolve to be the best at my chosen profession.

I understand that success is not a destination but a journey. As another wise man said, “The tragedy of life lies not in reaching your goals but it is in having no goals to reach; for while you do not make your goals, your goals will make you.”

5. Are there ideas in this book that you totally disagree with? If so, why?

To be candid, I did not find any idea that I do no agree with in this book.

6. What did you find most helpful or least helpful in this book?

All the ideas I will say are helpful. For someone who is into motivations like me the book is a good reference material.

I find nothing least helpful in the book. This is because to say something is least helpful is like saying that thing is not helpful or not important. As far as I am concerned, there is nothing in this book that is not important.

7. In 50 words or less, please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey.

The main idea the book is trying to pass across is to tell anyone who is willing to get to the peak of his or her profession that it is possible to do so by using the ideas presented in this book.

My Rating

A. How interesting was it to read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10
E. Would you recommend it to others? 10

Unconditional Life
Assessment by Mabadeje Abiodun (Nigeria)

1. Discuss the main ideas that you found most important in this book and why they were important to you.

There are several ideas in the book that I found important. Almost all the stories are breath taking. The comebacks from near death situations through self-awareness and meditation were all wonderful. The story of Nick in the last chapter is really touching and captivating.

- “Medical science was not being true to reality until it conceded that illness is connected to a person's emotions, beliefs, and expectations.”

This view cannot be truer. And it agrees with what the Bible says, when it says, “…that you may be in health and prosper even as your soul prospers.”

The state of ones consciousness forms the basis or the foundation, which his life will be built

This is like saying, “As a man thinketh so is he.”

- “Chaos is the absence of predictable patterns and connections.”

I agree totally that the world is in order and patterning our lives to fit into the order of things and nature helps to prevent chaos. Even when things go bad, you still have an assurance that by the time the table turns you will still be standing; for in a matter or time night turns into day. Bible confirms it by saying, “All things work together for our good...”

- “We nourish bodies with every impulse of trust and love, we poison them with distrust and hate.”

I believe that this is explicit enough. A state of trust and love allows your mind to be free and open to ideas. In fact the Bible says “A merry heart doeth good like medicine, but a broken spirit (i.e. one full of distrust and hate) drieth up the bones.”

- “Fortunately, awareness is not only self-healing, it given the chance, but a certain part is already healed. This part is the sense of Being, of “I am,” which no one can ever sacrifice or destroy. Only a person in vanity sees Being in all directions, but we each have a seed of Being inside, the starting point of our evolution.”

Awareness has to do with consciousness, alertness, self-image, self-esteem, which are all necessary for self-healing. When the image a person has of himself/herself is distorted that person is bound to have problems with himself and all aspects of his relationships. Hence, “I” must see my “Being” as whole and complete - totally in control.

2. Can you relate the ideas in the book to your personal circumstances in life such as your relationships, your beliefs, your goals, your values, etc? Explain.

Relationships
This is one thing everyone hoping to amount to anything in life must take very seriously. Not only should you forgive those who offend you but should also seek forgiveness from those you offend.

I have offended someone before and the person actually held the offence against me. But being a Christian and knowing that the Bible says I should pursue peace with all men, I had to seek ways to get that person to forgive me.

Not holding anyone in unforgiveness is good but ensuring that no one holds you in unforgiveness is also necessary.

Values
These are things that you hold so dear and are important to you. Things you live by.

The issue of self-awareness is very important to me. I am a small stature guy, and to a lot of people they think that being small stature is a disadvantage. In my own case, I have come to understand that it is rather an advantage. It sets me apart, distinguishes me and so on. “I” love the way I am. If I don't accept me, it will be difficult to convince others to accept me.

This is tied to my beliefs, e.g. God does not make mistakes. He does what he plans to do. I am not a mistake of creation. I am created in the image of God. I am perfect as I am and qualified for my calling.

3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please explain.

What I would have considered the new idea learned from the book is not totally new to me. But what I find really interesting is the depth with which Deepak Chopra dealt with it.

The idea that man is in control and that he as it were has the final “Say” as far as his/her life is concerned and whatever happens to him is not new to me.

That man is one with nature; that he can either use this awareness to his own advantage or be at disadvantage because he is not aware of what is available to him.

For example, a greater percentage of the earth is made up of water; the clouds and firmaments are filled with water; man has 75% water composition. He (i.e man) according to the Bible is even formed from the dust of the earth.

All these show that nature is one whole entity with everything in it being interconnected and all working together to maintain order. The earlier man realizes this, the better for him. Nothing exists by itself and for itself.

In chapter 7 of the book, I find the idea on “Pain and Suffering” quite interesting, interesting because as Chopra puts it, “a lot of people equate pain with suffering.” The truth however is that pain and suffering are not one and the same. While pain is of the body, suffering is of the heart.

Like the experience of Ray shows, you can go through pain and not suffer along with the pain. For example, I don't have money in my pocket does not mean I am poor. While I can go through the feeling of disappointment (pain) for not having money to meet certain needs, I don't have to now see myself as a poor man; doing that will mean suffering with the pain. Being poor or rich is first and foremost a thing of the mind.

Bible puts it in this light, “…that you may prosper and be in health even as your soul prospers.”

4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, explain how?

I will not say the book has changed my thinking in anyway, rather I will say that it has helped to affirm some of my beliefs. Although the book is not written from a Christian point of view, but it agrees definitely with some of the teachings of the Bible.

Taking time to think and mediate; staying positive and hopeful for the best in all things and at all times are all well taught in the Bible, which are all focal points in the book.

5. Are there ideas in the book that you totally disagree with? If so, why?

The one idea I will say I totally disagree with has to do with the discussion between Nick and Chopra, when Chopra asked if Nick thought that God heard him when he cried out to him.

The truth is God cannot be rationalized. You don't feel him or see him does not mean he doesn't exist or does not hear you when you call to him.

We must however not think that crying moves God. It is faith that moves God. When you cry do you cry with an understanding that He is going to hear and do something about your situation? Or is it just to make him pity you? They are two different things.

So, I do not agree with Chopra on this point when he says, “Instead of wondering if there is some almighty agency who can you from suffering”.

6. What did you find most helpful and least helpful in this book?

There is nothing I find most helpful, but for least helpful, number five above, I will say is least helpful to me. If I have a problem, as much as I know that as a man the solutions to the problems are within my reach, I will still pray to the all-knowing God for assistance and direction. How he chooses to do that is left to him. But definitely there is help in God.

The story of the man who lives in the cave with marks on his body and yet does not feel anything from the bites of the snakes is also least helpful. No matter the level of meditation I get into I appreciate my body as it is. I don't want no snake bites on it.

7. In 50 words or less, please describe the main ideas the whole book is trying to convey.

The main idea the whole book is conveying is simply that man as he is is whole, and being aware of this wholeness will help him to be able to solve most, if not all the problems he encounters while he remains here on earth.

Rating
A. How interesting was it to read? 5
B. How helpful were the content? 6
C. How easy was it to understand? 6
D. Would you recommend it to others? 4
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 8

Your Sacred Self
Assessment by Mabadeje Abiodun (Nigeria)

To start with, I want to say that this book is more enjoyable and more interesting to read than “Real Magic”.

You would even think that the books are written by different authors. But by and large, I think this is a more reader - friendly book, maybe because of the information the author is conveying through this book.

1. Discuss the main ideas that you found most important in this book and discuss why they were important to you.

In chapter one of the book Dr, Wayne writes under the heading - Defining your sacred Quest that “making that height explode for yourself involves understanding who you are and what it is that you are doing here in this thing called your body, on this place called earth, at this point in your life.” This is the same thing as saying to someone to find and understand his/her purpose, which is very pivotal to living a fruitful and rewarding life. I always like to say that a purposeless life is a useless life.
I think it is Myles Munroe who said, “Where purpose is not known abuse is inevitable.”

And the Bible says in Pro. 29: 18, “where there is no vision the people perish”. Vision can simply be defined as the discovery of your purpose.
So, for any one to make that height explode (i.e. lead a fruitful and rewarding life), there is a need to understand who you are …. What you are doing here … on this place… at this point in your life.

“Knowing your spiritual self is your sacred quest and your life challenge”.
The journey to self discovery is a personal one, just as the journey to the discovery of my spiritual self is personal.

It is not something some one else can do for me. Another person may enlighten and show me the way, but walking down the path is my personal quest and challenge. Walking this part may not be easy or funny, but at the end it is rewarding.

2. Can you relate the ideas or concept in this book to your personal circumstances in life such as your relationships, your beliefs, your goals, your values, etc? Explain.

In chapter Three, “Releasing Old Beliefs”, I particularly like the statement, “My past is nothing more than the trail that I have left behind. What drives my life today is the energy that I generate in my present moments”.

This cannot be better said. We must all come to the understanding of this truth and know that the reason why the past is called past is because it is past, and holding onto it will not do anyone any good. Whether it be in terms of past failures or successes.

Yesterday came with its opportunities and privileges, but for some reasons or the other we missed them, and so we considered ourselves failure. We should however realize that today is another day with its own opportunities and privileges, but wallowing in the thought of our misfortunes of yesterday will do us more harm than good.

We have to learn to let go of the past so that we can lay hold on the present. As someone rightly postulated “worry never solves tomorrow and its problems, it only robs the warrior of his strength for today”.

Under the seventh “Old Belief” that must be “Released”, that is, “Petty Tyrants Should Be Ignored”, Dr. Wayne writes, ”God indeed works in mysterious ways. That which we judge to be unfortunate and evil can teach us our greatest lessons”
The Bible in Romans 8: 28 says, “And we know that all things work together for our good…”

Till today, some people still find it hard to believe that I actually repeated a class in secondary school. But the truth is I did. When it happened I did not feel good about it, but today I always say to people I thank God I repeated SSS 1 (i.e. Senior Secondary School 1), because looking back over the years, I have seen several opportunities that have come my way, which would not have been had I not repeated the class. The turn of events has taught me that “I am not alone, He is with me”.
It is like saying I am an actor acting out my role in the script that God has written about my life

3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please explain.

On page 167 under the subtopic: Prayer and your Inner Dialogue”, the author gives a quotation by the legendary author Hermes Trismegistus: “God is a sphere whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere”.
I believe that the totality and the 'eternityness' of God is too vast for anyone to understand. The Bible says He had no beginning and has no end. He doesn't live in time; He is not restricted by time. Space is also not a problem to Him.
God is anywhere and everywhere at the same time, and as the author puts it, we are in God, God is in us, and we are as limitless as He is. Not bound by time or space.

4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, why?

It has presented spirituality in another light. Indeed it has challenged my thinking in the area of what spirituality is or what it means. I am a Christian and have my views as to what spirituality is from Christian perspective. However, I am not saying that Dr. Wayne is wrong in the perspective he has presented, only that he has challenged the view I have already. But not changed.

5. Are there ideas in the book that you totally disagree with? If so why?

On page 41, the author, gives the definition of what it means to be born again according to the “course in miracles:” “To be born again is to let the past go, and look without condemnation upon the present….”

While I do not disagree nor contest this definition in the context that it is used, I however do not agree with it in totality because to be born again goes beyond a natural thing. It is more than just forgetting the past and being optimistic about the present and the future. According to the Bible, being born again is completely a spiritual thing; it is the total surrendering of your heart and life to God through accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour.

Until this is done one cannot say he/she is born again. You can have a change in your thinking pattern and your perception of life but you are not yet born again in Bible context if the Jesus factor is not included.

The issue of goal setting as discussed under the Old Beliefs you must Release is not properly treated. I hold this view because no matter who you are or what you do there will always be times when you say to yourself I want to do this or that within a giving period of time.

If as a writer (knowing that the divine direction for my life involves me writing) I set a period of about a month or two to finish the writing of a particular book that is goal setting. If I say that this manuscript should be published within the next twelve months, that also is goal setting, but within the context of my divine calling. So goal setting in itself is not altogether a bad thing or idea.

Where I believe goal setting becomes wrong is when I do not yet know what my divine calling or direction is and I am not taking any deliberate steps to find what it is. And in this state of lack of 'awareness' all the goals I may set may be fruitless because they may not at the end tally with my divine calling.

I may go to school because the society frowns at the illiterate, so in order to feel among I also go to school to get any degree and yet when I come out I am still nowhere, because what I have gone to school to study is not akin to my purpose.

6. What did you find most helpful and least helpful in this book?

The lyrics of the song by Jackson Browne really means so much to me, it does because it agrees with one of the write-ups I wrote sometime ago titled “Waka - pass”.

Most of us don't know ourselves; we have no understanding of our personalities; or inclinations and what have you.

He says, “Most of us are doing the steps that we've been shown by everyone we've ever known, and often we don't realize that we are still dancing to that tune as adults”.

And Jackson Browne suggests, “We must learn to toss some seeds of our own, and become the choreographer of our own lives, dancing to the tune that we compose”.
“Waka-pass” simply means extras, like those you have in plays - in the crowd scenes. They are not the main characters. They are just part of the crowd.
Another reason why I like this particular message (i.e. of Jackson Browne) is that through it I also wrote a piece titled “Dance of Freedom”.

I don't want to write anything about what is least helpful.

7. In 50 words or less, please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey.

The main idea the whole book is trying to convey is that all of us humans are one big entity joined together, though we may have physical characteristics that differ in several ways. And understanding what it means to be spiritual will help to foster unity amongst the human race.

RATINGS
(A) How interesting was it to read? 7
(B) How helpful were the contents? 6
(C) How easy was it to understand? 7
(D) Would you recommend it to others? 6
(E) What is the overall rating you would give it? 7

Giant Steps
Assessment by Mabadeje Abiodun (Nigeria)

Let me start by saying that I am not surprised at the things I read in the book. It is just in the usual characteristical manner of Anthony Robbins. There is always something new to learn from him.

This is because before now I have had the opportunity to read “Awaken the Giant Within”, which was really a classique. If you permit me, I will rate it as high as “Power of Positive Thinking,” by Norman Vincent Pearl.

1. Discuss the main ideas that you found most important in this book and discuss why they were important to you.

From page 366 through to page 370, Tony gave five keys to financial mastery which he had learnt from studying successful people. These keys as spelt out in the book mean so much to me and are important. I know that I am still so much at the level of the number 1 key, I say so because for now I have more strength here than the other keys, but I believe in the other keys and indeed steps are being taken to see that my habit of financial mastery becomes enshrined in them. In fact, I have copied out the 5 keys for regular meditation.

In section 11, page 352 (i.e. day 312), ‘Tony gives a quote by the British philosopher, Ludwig Wittgenstein, which goes thus; “The human body is the best picture of the human soul.”

This quote is in direct consonance with the idea presented in the Bible when it says that, “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospereth.” (3 Jn. 2 kjv) In order words, the extent to which your body prospers in its entire ramification is dependent to the extent to which your soul prospers. Another side to prospering bodily is the fact that it covers every area of our existence or life here on earth, not just our physical body.

2. Can you relate the ideas or concepts in this book to your personal circumstances in life such as your relationships, your beliefs, your goals, your valves, etc? Explain.

It is no gain saying that all the ideas and concepts presented in Giant Steps agree with my goals in life. I am someone who believes so much in living a purpose driven life, taking initiatives, going the extra mile, not surrendering to ‘fate’, but with faith stretching myself. I believe also in the use of my natural abilities, after all “The gift of a man will make room for him, and bring him before great men.” – Pro. 18:16

I believe very strongly that my mind is the raw material for everything I will ever do or be able to do.
I will like to summarize all of these with the quote by Bruce Barton, which begins section 9 of the book, “Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.” Also, the quote by Oliver Wendell Holmes that begins section 8, "Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions," is also to be noted very seriously.

Taking a journey back into time and even in this present dispensation, one will realize that the individuals who have and are still making impacts are those who have adopted and adapted the habit of reading. It was W. Fusselman who said, "Today a reader, tomorrow a leader." It cannot be better said; readers are simply leaders.

A Nigerian by the name of Lekan Fasina wrote a book and titled it, "The Habit of Reading is a Goldmine." In this book, he chronicles the story of great men and women who will tell you that apart from God, they owe their successes to the habit of reading.

Reading is so important, and it is this importance that Mr, Robbins expresses on page 256 (i.e. day 224) when he writes, '"Jim Rohn," (whom I also respect a great deal) "One of my teachers, told me that, 'Reading something of substance, something of value, something that was nourishing, something that taught you new distinctions, was more important than eating. Miss a meal, but don't miss your reading."'

Personally, I agree with this position. Reading is as important as eating, exercising or even breathing. I have by the grace of God come to the point in my life where no day passes without me feeding my mind on things that can help me. "Information," someone noted "brings reformation."

I have always told people that cared to listen, the story of how my life took a turn around for the better sometime in year 2003 when I was reading. I was an undergraduate at the time in H.N.D. 1 (i.e. Higher National Diploma 1), but the experience was so dramatic and the result was that I decided not to practice Insurance, which I studied in school. Although I still managed to graduate.

There are so many ideas I have gotten through reading books and the Bible. Even Daniel in Daniel 9: 2 said, "...I Daniel understood by books the number of years..."

3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please explain.

There are several new things I learned from the book but for the purpose of assessment to write all of them may not be possible.

But the section on “Get the Knack of Change” – The science of success conditioning is really good with many ideas. The section opens with this quote by Nathaniel Emmons, “Habit is either the best as servants or the worst of masters”.

And as you go through the pages that follow, you find several inspiring thoughts that tell you that ‘your destiny is in your hand.’ For example, “we must take personal responsibility for our change. No one can “program” you. You must condition yourself.

Then he goes on to give 3 core beliefs, which I will like to call 3 codes of conduct for “Taking Responsibility”
* It must change
* I must change it and
* I can change it
“To create change quickly, the first belief you must adopt is that you can change virtually anything now.” Then the NAC master steps and conditioning techniques are just good.

Section 1 of the book is titled - "Dreams of Destiny." And the very first quote by Carl Sandburg goes thus, "Nothing happens unless first a dream." This quote reminds me of some other ones. One by Evander Holyfield, "To dream is the first step to making them realities."

Another one (anonymous) says, "The dreams of today are the realities of tomorrow."

I know that dreams help to shape the path to our future. Dreams are like lights that brighten our pathways as we journey into the future.

But stumbling one must where no dreams exist.

In Heb. 12:2, the Bible reminds us that "Jesus because of the joy (the dreams, the goals or vision - the result that was inevitable should He go to the cross) that was set before Him endured the cross." He probably would have declined going all the way if not for the joy (goal) that was set before Him.

I believe that dreams; goals; visions - leaving a purposeful life helps us to persevere through thick and thin. We would be willing to go all the way through the dark tunnels of life if we have dreams of finding light at its (i.e. the tunnels) end.

4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? It so, explain how.

Yes the book has challenged me. I would not say it has changed my thinking rather, I will say it has helped to improve it.

Now I see the need for me to take more responsibility for my thoughts, and actions in order to have the kind of life I really want.

You know, like Jim Rohn said, “We will always have two choices, we can either make a living or we can design a life.” Designing a life is the path I have chosen. And since that is the case, it then behooves me to really be in charge.

On pages 26 and 28 (i.e. for days 12 and 14) the author writes respectively, "The only limit to what you can achieve is the extent of your ability to define with precision that which you desire." And, "So much that could help you achieve your dreams is never noticed or utilized simply because you haven't defined (taught your brain what's important) your goals with clarity."

These two quotations remind me of two others by Napoleon Hill. The first is, "If you know what you want you will be apt to recognize it when you see it." And the second is like it, which goes thus, "If you know what you want, you will find a way to get it."

I don't know how best to talk about the importance of having clearly defined goals - focus- or what Napoleon himself will call "A definite major purpose." This is what makes life meaningful and worth living. Without it life will only be a mere experiment.

Opportunities are everywhere, but being able to recognize them starts with knowing what you want

5. Are there ideas in the book that you totally disagree with? If so, why?

Indeed there will be people who may have ideas that they disagree with in the book, of course because of different perspective and opinions. But I can assure you, there wouldn't be so many of them as far as this book is concerned
.
And I can tell you I am one of such people without any reason to disagree with any idea in the book.

6. What did you find most helpful and least helpful in this book?

On page 289, the author writes, “Trying to achieve the pleasure of success without risking the pain of rejection would never work”.

I find this thought helpful because now I know (not that I didn't know before, only that it is better explained and I have better understanding) that on the road to success, rejections are inevitable, but they are not to daunt me but to make me more resolved to realize our goals.

On page, 383 for day 341, Mr. Robbins writes, "The capacity to do the right thing, to dare to take a stand and make a difference is within you now." The duty of every soul is to recognize the Creator's investment that gives him or her the ability to make a difference in life. In my own words, one cannot be different as long as he/she remains indifferent. And as the author puts it, "The capacity to make a difference is within all of us."

But drawing on this capacity is ever man's duty. Until demand is amde on this capacity, it remains there, lying fallow - uncultivated - "A SLEEPING GIANT."

I find nothing least helpful in the book.

7. In 50 words or less, please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey.

I will like to summarize the message of this book thus: self mastery is the key to the mastery of the process (es) that lead to success and the mastery of success itself.

A. How interesting was it to Read? 10
B. How helpful were the contents? 10
C. How easy was it to understand? 10
D. Would you recommend it to other? 10
E. What is the overall rating you would give it? 10

PsychoCybernetics
Assessment by Mabadeje Abiodun (Nigeria)

1. Discuss the main ideas you found most important in this book and discuss why they were important to you.

There are quite a number of ideas in the book that will qualify as most important. Without mincing words, I mean quite a number.

The idea of self-image, which I believe is the main theme of the book to me is the most important because it underscores all that one does and becomes. Self-image simply means the way you 'imagine' your self. It talks about self perception; the picture you carry in your mind about yourself. It shapes your personality. The kind of image you have of yourself eventually determines how you carry and present yourself. But it must be borne in mind that the way one presents himself/herself is the way he/she will be received. The world cannot receive you any better than you present yourself.

This truth is more succintly expressed in these two lines of thought, "Every one acts, feels, and behaves in a way that is consistent with our self-image--regardless of the reality of that image." And the second one is this, "It is our self-image that prescribes our limits. And achieving a positive self-image-- the life instinct, rather than the destructive instinct-- is within the capacity of every man, woman and child."

I also find the whole idea of "Psycho-Cybernetics" of great importance and interesting. The way it is described from page 4 to 5 is very good. "The science of cybernetics as applied to the human mind."

This is something that most readers may find a bit difficult to understand. In my own case, anytime someone saw the book with me and asked me what "it" means I always opened to page 5 for consultation or just tell them it is about Psychology, but like a step higher than pure Psychology. However, gaining the understanding of Psycho-Cybernetics will really help any one looking for answers in different areas of life.

2. Can you relate the ideas or concepts in this book to your personal circumstances on life such as your relationships, your beliefs, your goals, your values, e.t.c.?

A bad self-image leads to a poor self-esteem. I remember very vividly that when I was about 22 or 23 years old I started getting so agitated about my stature. My physical height has been the same from about the age of 15. Less than 4.5 ft. And people would make jest and call one "short man devil." It bothered me so much then that I began to desire to grow in stature. In fact I found a reference for this desire of mine in the Bible, Luke 2:52, "...And Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature..." Hence I started praying that God would increase me 'height-wise.'

Well, I am happy to let you know that God did not answer that prayer. Although today I now understand why God would create people and give them certain physical attributes.

Back then, I had a challenge accepting me for who I am physically. You know, when someone would look at you and just cut off as much as 5 -7 years from your age. Although it still happens it does not bother me any more.

Today I know I am good as I am. Well packaged for my assignment and any one who has a problem with that should go and sort it out with God. After all I am created in His image and after His likeness.

On page 26 number 3- "Affirm your new image to yourself." The last sentence in the second paragraph goes thus: "... unless you have a destination, affirmation will quickly turn to frustration." This is most profoundly true (I don't even know if this expression is correct), I mean of what use is "Affirmation" when you don't have a destination. What then are you affirming?

I know that in the journey of life it is of utmost importance to determine your destination before you leave your location or else the journey will lead you to a land called ' NO PLACE.' And embarking on the is journey of life without a destination in view is an exercise in futility.

I sat down a few weeks ago to draw up my plan for year 2007 to act as my compass to navigate through the year so that the sail of my ship (my life) will not be determined by the direction of the wind (the tides of the times and the challenges or circumstances of life) but by my pre-determined destination. This gives God something to work with in my life - I have an "expected end," Jer. 29:11

According to Les Brown, "Your goals are the road maps that guide you and show you what is possible in your life." Robert H. Schuller on his part puts it like this, "Goals are not only absolutely necessary to motivate us, they are essencial to really keep us alive."

3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please explain.

I have known about enthusiasm as a driving force before reading this book, but through this book I learnt that "Enthusiasm" literally means "to experience God within." It therefore means that anytime I feel "enthused" or "enthusiastic" about a thing or project it is God Himself that is driving me: He is the One giving me the force I need - the energy.

Another idea I learnt from the book is on page 320, the last paragraph - "Nostalgia of the future." Nostalgia is not a strange word to me, but that of the future? Completely new. And as I thought over the expression it made a lot of meaning to me. It further explains the idea of self-image or self-perception, goal setting and vision. Entering into ones "Theatre of imagination," and dreaming of or visualizing a positive, successful person or outcome in life generates indeed a nostalgic feeling. This feeling literally sets one aglow. This kind of "Nostalgia" is a necessity for any life that will eventually become successful in the real sense of the word.

On pages 28 and 29, the two principles of the subconscious and conscious minds are explained: The Conscious mind being the student only operates on the principles of i. Agreement and ii. Compliance.

It is not the master, but as it is later explained when it finally takes hold of the message presented to it by the original master (the conscious mind), it in turn begins to act as the master. And to make it stop will take time - a whole process of learning and re-learning.

The Conscious mind on the other hand operates on the principles of i. Selection and ii. Elimination. This mind is the one that relates with the outside world and tells the subconscious mind what is right or wrong: what to accept or not as far as our individual worlds are concerned.

In summary, "The conscious mind sets the vision. The subconscious mind's role is pro-vision."

On page 13, Dr. Maltz used the letters of the words "Success," and "Failure" as acronyms to form what he called "Seven elements of success" and "Seven elements of failure."

I do not think anybody can fault this idea in any way. But beyond this idea is what occurred to me as I was ruminating over these elements of success and failure. It occurred to me that the two words both contain 7 letters each. What this points out to me is that it takes the same level of energy to either succeed or fail. The difference is only in the way the energy is directed, while one is positive, the other is negative.

4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, why?

On page 53, - '"Avioding the "Willpower" Trap"' While I'll agree that in this regard my thinking has been challenged, because of my previous belief about "Willpower," and "Positive thinking," I will not say it has been changed.

I reserve my cooment on this to this to the next question.

5. Are there ideas in this book that you totally disagree with? If so, why?

I will not want to go into the aspect of "Willpower." But on "Positive thinking," I'll like to comment.

To me the Bible is the supreme authority in the world, and it says in Proverbs 23:7, " For as he thinks in his heart, so is he..." So, if he thinks positive he becomes positive and if on the other hand he thinks negative, he becomes negative.

I also see the whole idea of self-image and positive thinking as one and the same, since one can have a negative self-image or a positive one. In the same way ones thinking can either be positive or negative.

Positive thinking is the same as having a positive or good self-image. While negative thinking is nothing but negative self-image.

6. What did you find most helpful and least helpful in this book?

I found anything least helpful, it would be the idea that positive thinking does not work. But there are several ideas in the book that are most helpful.

On page 160, under "How Your Self-Image Conditions Your Goals," the first sentence there says, "...there aren't too many victims in life. There are a lot of volunteers."

This tells me that those who are victims in life or of life are those who volunteered themselves to be so. They are those who have to allowed the tides of the times; the challenges of life to determine the direction of the sail of their ships - their lives.

On page 315, the quotation by Dr. Maltz goes thus: "Every one's real goal...is for more life--more living. Whatever your definition of happiness may be, you will experience happiness only as you experience more life. More living means among other things more accomplishment, the attainment of worthwhile goals, more health and enjoyment, more happiness for both yourself and others...Let us not limit our acceptance of life by our own feelings of unworthiness."

To me it therefore menas that to be alive in the real sense of the word is to be responsive rather than reactive to situations and challenges of life. To be human is to learn to express the real you and not allow any form of inhibition.

7. In 50 words or less, please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey.

Understanding how the mind functions is a prerequisite for having the kind of self-image that places one on the pedestal of success in any area of life or human endeavour.

RATING

1. How interestin is the book? 8
2. How helpful were the contents? 9
3. How easy was it to understand? 8
4. Would you recommend it to others? 9
5. What is the overa rating you woud give it? 9

Nonviolent Communications
Assessment by Mabadeje Abiodun (Nigeria)

This book I must confess gave me serious challenge. When I read Psycho-cybernetics in stage one I had challenge, but this book “Nonviolent Communication” has been ‘violently’ challenging. Reading through it the first time took about three months, the second reading about another month. During this four month period, I read several other books through, but this particular one “Nonviolent Communication” was violently challenging.

But against all odds, I read the book and here we are, I have my assessment. At least it is better to crawl and arrive safely than to run and never arrive at all.

1. What is the main idea that the author is trying to convey through the book?

From my understanding of the book “NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION,” what I believe the author is trying to convey is a paradigm shift from the way we have been used to communicating i.e. getting our views and opinions across, which often times are either selfish or self-centred; self-seeking or self focused to a new way of communicating, which in its entire approach puts first the feelings and needs of the other party.

To use a biblical paraphrase, I’ll say, the message of “Nonviolent Communication” is “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

This line of thought is what the lyrics of the song “Given To” (1978) by Ruth Bebermeyer, on page 5 of the book establishes.

To further buttress this point, the last paragraph on page 3 reads, “As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing, or attacking in the face of judgment and criticism, we come to perceive ourselves and others as well as our intentions and relationships, in a new light.

2. What were the seven ideas which were personally most important to you and why? List these seven ideas followed by an explanation after each one as to why it was important to you. Use personal examples from your own life.

The seven most important ideas to me that I found in this book are:

a. “We become the change we wish to see in the world” no change will ever take place. We are all, unfortunately, waiting for the other person to change first.” – This is from page xvi of the foreword.

It has been said that “Change is the only constant thing in the world” but change can either be circumstantial or orchestrated. The problem with the majority of people is that we are always waiting for the “right circumstance(s).” but if we are to be true leaders we need to learn how to and to initiate change – take steps and do things in ways that will bring about a positive cohesion between us and the world. If we wait for others – the world to change before we change, our waiting period might take the whole of eternity.

The idea is important to me because one of my own guiding life principles is “do unto others as you would want them to do unto you.” Remember that when a man is right, his world will also be right.

b. “Nonviolent means allowing the positive within you to emerge. Be dominated by love, respect, understanding, appreciation, compassion and concern for others rather than the self-centered and selfish, greedy, hateful, prejudiced,, suspicious and aggressive attitudes that dominate our thinking.”

This is on page xvii of the foreword, 2nd to the last paragraph.

I personally hold the believe that the whole essence of creation places upon each of us a responsibility and a duty to use whatever ability that nature has deposited in us to serve both divinity and humanity. As the Junior Chambers (JC’s) always say, “Service to humanity is the greatest work of life.”

We are all here in this world to make the world better than we met it. And the only way we can do this is by the good we do and sincere love we express to others. Love in its entirety is not a passive word, but active. “It is possible to give without loving, but it is not possible to love without giving.”

The reason I got into writing and public speaking and to day running an NGO is because I don’t like to do things that start and with me, whatever I do must have a direct positive impact on others – the world.

c. The general idea of classifying people into good or bad through judgments and criticisms as presented in chapter 2, I find very important.
“…The problem with you is that you are too lazy.” “She is lazy.” “They are prejudiced.” “It’s inappropriate.” – (page 15, paragraph 2)

There is a place in the Bible that says, “Remove the log in your own eyes before you can see the speck in your brother’s eyes.”

Man by his very nature is ordinarily a selfish being – self-centered and self-seeking. We naturally put ourselves first before others. However, when we see others who do this, we are quick to judge and criticize them and even go as far as castigating them sometimes. This is an irony.

I believe that the more we begin to see the other person not as we have judged him to be but rather as someone whom we should “should do unto as we would want to be done unto,” the better it will be for the human race.

d. On page 106, one of the things the wife said is, “Often it is difficult for people to identify what they want in a situation, even though they may not know what they don’t want.”

There are two sides to a coin. When you identify what you don’t want, you also must make effort to specifically identify what you do want whether in life or situation. This is what sets the standard work format for the brain.

Personally, I have benefited from being able to pin-point what I want in life. For example, I have been able to establish a path for my life that is in the area of writing and public speaking, while also I know that to get a job in organizations like banks is not a path I’ll like to follow at all. In fact, I don’t want to be caught dead working in a bank. This for me is freedom!

e. “What will they think of me? Must be put aside for bliss.” – Joseph Campbell. (Found on page 100 – part of the last paragraph on page 99)

This question, “What will they think of me?” has been the greatest undoing of many people who otherwise would have achieved so much and made a success of their lives, but today they are otherwise.

Many people both young and old have truncated their destinies on the ‘altar’ of this question.

I still hold my own personal experience forth in this regard. As an undergraduate, I studied Insurance as a course, but somehow along the line I was able to discover that practicing Insurance as a profession will not help me get to where I want to go in life, hence I jettisoned practicing the profession without having any recourse to what people will think or say.

No doubt people have wagged their tongues at this decision of mine, but I know that ultimately time will prove me right.

f. The short write-up attributed to Marrianne Williamson, on page 189 is very important to me

This is important because it is the truth; the truth that many people are afraid of being great in life. They’ll rather remain small and insignificant than to let loose the many potentials with which they have been endowed by God.

In the book “Psycho-cybernetics,” Maxwell Maltz wrote that while some people are afraid of failure some are afraid of success. He said they are afraid of the lime- light and the spot-light shining on them.

In my own submission, I believe that God did not create anyone to be a nonentity. He did not create anyone for a life of mediocrity or obscurity but to be a celebrity, that is why He gave us the ability to counter the effects of the reality that subsist in our society.

g. “Don’t do anything that isn’t play!”

“…I earnestly believe however, that an important form of self compassion is to make choices motivated purely by our desire to contribute to life rather than out of fear, guilt, shame, duty, or obligations.”

Of the seven ideas that were most important to me in this book, this one is the most outstanding of them all.

Someone rightly observed and said, “Life is too short to be taken very seriously.”

If whatever one takes as his profession of vocation is seen as work, then that vocation is not worth the commitment.

Rather, I believe that everyone should learn to become like footballers. Their work is ‘playing’ football – they enjoy; have fun; they have nice time ‘footballing.’ They simply ‘play’ football. They don’t work football.

Writing, public speaking and acting all get me excited. I feel on top of the world doing these things. I mean, I don’t ‘work’ my ‘work,’ I simply ‘play’ my ‘work.’ Mark Twain once said, “The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.”

3. How will these ideas or lessons help you in a practical way, both in your daily personal life and in helping you to create a better world? if so, how?

Some people have said that “Life is about action and re-action.” Meaning that there is a corresponding outcome that can easily be predictable depending on how we consistently spend our lives. Simple and short – “What you sow, you shall reap.”

For me, each of these lessons is a life principle. And when principles are practiced whether in America, the Caribbean islands or in Nigeria they produce power. And I’ll like to summarize them thus:
• Believe in myself and God
• Become the change you want to see
• Do to others as you would want them to do unto you

If I and others consistently do the above, one thing is inevitable, the world is about to become better.

4. Quotes: Are there brief quotes which got your attention? If so, please list and comment on them

a. “We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.” – 2nd emphasis box, page 21

Man is a free moral agent and is expected to take responsibility for how he thinks, behaves and feels. But the trend we see is that everyone is looking for someone to blame or accuse for their misfortune.

It will however do all of us a lot of good if we begin to take responsibility for our lives, for then will we begin to truly be alive.

b. “Let us become the change we seek in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi (Page 129)

When former American President, Bill Clinton visited Nigeria, one of the statements he made is that “No one has a right to complain about anything if he is not willing to do something about it.” What we see all over the world today are people who know how to analyze every, criticize and apportion blame, but will never proffer any solution talk less of taking steps to ensure the needed change.

If we are truly going to see any meaningful change in our world, we must all begin to model that change. Jesus washed the feet of His disciples before He commanded them to go and do likewise.

c. “…It is tragic that so many of us get enmeshed in self-hatred rather than benefit from mistakes which show us our limitations and guide us towards growth.”

One of the hallmarks of being human is that we are actually human. This fact we all must accept. And as human we are prone to make mistakes. What we need to do is to accept whenever we make mistake that we did and learn from the mistake. But to berate ourselves for making a mistake is trying to play God.

As long as we are here, we will make mistakes and some may even have severe consequences, but we must be careful not to think that just because we make mistake then means we are useless. They are mistakes; they show us our limitations, but they also guide us towards growth.

d. “When our consciousness is focused on what we need, we are naturally stimulated towards the creative possibilities of how to get that need met.” (Pg.133, paragraph 2)

What we must all understand is that the human mind is created to get solutions. Every single person has what it takes to get results in life, and focus or the power of focus is one of the many ways to get the mind activated and to seek out results for whatever situation we need to solve.

e. “Observing without evaluating is the highest form of human intelligence.” – J. Krishnamurti, - (Pg. 28, paragraph 3)

When I started considering this thought, I asked myself if it is really possible to observe without evaluating or judging? Can someone wrong me without evaluating?

But real freedom starts with being able to forgive and forget. The person who holds down another can himself not go any further. Holding someone in unforgiveness clogs the heart with so much debris. Freedom is learning to keep the heart free of all these dirt as a result of not evaluating or judging but simply observing.

5. Is there anything in the book that you do not understand or are unclear about, or are there ideas which you disagree with and, if so, why?

In terms of understanding, I will say I understand the message the author is trying to pass across through the book. Although I found it difficult to grasp the message at the first reading (may be because the ideas are new or totally strange to me). In this part of the world for example, I have never seen nor heard of where a parent will be seeking to know what the child is feeling or needing and thereby structuring conversation to get to know of such feeling or need. In my country, your parent tells you what he/she wants you to do and you are not expected to argue. You are to simply obey. Even when you come of age, you don’t argue out rightly, because you would be seen as disrespectful and disobedient or even rebellious.

But the whole picture became clearer after my second reading.

6. Did the book contain exercises for the reader to complete all of the exercises and did you find them helpful?

The book contains exercises for readers to complete and I completed them. One thing I have noticed is that somehow, I have become more aware of myself. Sometimes, when I or someone does something and I am about concluding on why I think the person acted in such a way, i.e. evaluating or judging, I suddenly remember, “Why not observe without evaluating.” Sometimes, truly, it is good to give people a chance to make mistakes. It is part of being human.

7. Was there anything you read in the book that you would like to comment on that was not covered in the previous questions? If so, please comment.

There are quite a number of things to still comment on in the book, but I’ll like to restrict myself to just one of them.

a. “…When we are internally violent towards ourselves, it is difficult to be genuinely compassionate towards others.” – (Chapter 9, page 129, first paragraph)

This line of thought, simply put, means, what you don’t have, you cannot give. The Bible puts it as, “Love your neighbour as yourself.” But how can you love your neighbour, when you don’t love yourself – you are internally violent towards yourself? The starting point is, learn to love yourself. You do this by learning to forgive yourself. This you also do by learning to stop judging; criticizing; castigating; or berating yourself. You are human, and are prone to mistakes. Accept your mistakes and take responsibility for them, but don’t fail to learn the lessons and move with life.

Rate between 1 – 10

a. How interesting was it to read? 6
b. How helpful were the contents? 7
c. How easy was it to understand? 5
d. Would you recommend it to others? 6
e. What is the overall rating you would give it? 7