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Assessment by Rose Njihia Mbugua... As A Man Thinketh Part 1 - Content Review: As the plant springs from and could not be without seed so every act of man springs from the hidden seeds of thought, and could not have appeared without them. This reminds me of how sometimes small issues blow up into a mountain and one wonders whether there was anything else other than that small issues, we tend to pile-up small things in our mind and once provoked we blow up. For instance a child may wrong you and you forgive but you don’t forget so next time he wrongs you again you punish him like never before not because of that one error but simply because you had other issues with him. By the right choice and true application of thought, man ascends to the divine perfection. By the abuse and wrong application of thought he descends below the level of the beast. I remember before I had enrolled myself in college, I use to think that there was no institution that could accept my low grades and so I wasted a lot of time debating and when I finally had the guts to approach one, I was surprised to learn that they admitted students with even lower marks and the marks determined which level one start from. Even though I did this with ease I was more shocked when I realized that the classes were always overbooked with students with similar marks and so I was not the only odd one out. If one does not shake off some doubts then you can remain in darkness forever. That he is the maker of his character and he molder of his life and the builder of his destiny, he may unerringly prove, if he will watch, control and alter his thoughts tracing their effects upon himself, upon others and upon his life and circumstances, linking cause and effect by patient practice and investigation. It is through soul searching that one is able to tell where you stand and what you can do to mold yourself best. At times one is even forced to leave friends if you think they are not of any benefit to you or they are misleading you but you cannot do this unless you identify yourself and stand firm with your decision. The outer conditions of a person’s life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state. For example lazy people sometimes look unkempt and dark. I have also noticed with myself that when I am not in a good mood in the morning I just pick on any outfit without even thinking twice of the days schedules. This however has disappointed me enough times especially when I am supposed to meet clients outside the office. I will only realize this once I get to the office and check on my diary sometimes I have been forced to go back home and re-dress. Grooming I could say is determined by the way one wakes up or the way I wake up. If in the middle of the day I realize that I m not well dressed and cant go back I long for the day when it will be over so I can go home. And one thing is for sure you cannot smile if you are not comfortable with your physical appearance. Sometimes also when one is dull you don’t need to tell others but it shows from your face. As a progressive and evolving being, man is where he is that he may learn, that he may grow, and as he learns the spiritual lesson, which any circumstance contains for him, it passes away and gives place to other circumstances. Even though we learn through mistakes sometimes the mistake may be so humiliating that you feel you don’t want to go back again and unless one is really strong enough it can be very challenging, and when you finally succeed you long for more. Man is buffeted by circumstance so long as he believes in himself to be the creature of outside conditions, but when he realizes that he is a creative power, and that he may command the hidden soil and seeds of his being out of which circumstances grow, he then becomes the rightful master of himself, and thus gets more confidence to face the world. People who are bold enough I think have more chances of succeeding in life as they don’t shy away of challenges, as long as one is confidences then everything else falls into place. Good thoughts bears good fruits bad thoughts bears bad fruits, this reminds me when we were small children and our parents used to emphasis on good manners and especially when we visit friends or relative. If one was caught or reported to have misbehaved, thoroughly beating was the order of the day. That helped us to respect others unlike our cousins who were never disciplined and we thought their parents were better than ours but looking back, it helped me to be who I am today. And the same applies to our children like for example me since my parents didn’t give me that opportunity to embarrass them in front of their friends I also don’t expect my children to do the same and thus I instill discipline at all time. I don’t expect my children to be well mannered if I don’t show them how, and even though I might be tough to them now, they will realize the benefits ones they become adults. Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves, they therefore remain bound. This is true and we takes forever to implement change. Like end of last year I had so many things I had promised myself that I will work on before the end of this year but out of about ten items which I had highlighted only two or so I have managed to do without tiring. It’s so easy to note all the shortcomings that one encounters but given a chance to improve them we pull out or postpone. This makes our live to be stagnant and cumbersome. And as time is moving fast and so are the years, if one had intended to save for one year to purchase an item then you end saving for two years or more because the cost of living is going up and the more one waits the higher the price goes. “A stitch in time saves nine”. The poor man.. attracting to himself a still deeper wretchedness by dwelling in and acting out, indolent, deceptive and unmanly thoughts. This only happens when one concludes that you are poor and there is nothing that can be done to improve the status and the poverty was sent to you in loads. It’s not only in poverty but basically in everything else. What keeps us moving is the urge to keep on trying and standing firm. But when we conclude that something is unmovable so it remains. An employer who adopts crooked measures to avoid paying he regulation wage, and in the hope of making larger profits, reduces the wages of his work people, when bankrupt he blames circumstances not knowing he is the sole author of his condition. We should not treat other people badly and expect to get away with it, some of the bad things we do to others will hit back strong and in a different version. Its good to be fair and justice to others as one will always be on the safe side. The honest man reaps the good results of his honest thoughts and acts; he also brings upon himself the suffering, which his vices reduce. Good thought and action can never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions can never produce good results. This is but saying that nothing can come from corn but corn, nothing from nettles but nettles. Our children will grow up well depending on how well we bring them up. If we bring them up being as God fearing children when they grow up they will have that in mind and this will however play a role in their future. If we show them respect, obedience and living humbly that’s the way they will grow up to be. Even though they interact with other children from different backgrounds I believe with a firm foundation chance are high that well brought up children will not divert to weird behaviors. The circumstance which a man encounters with suffering are the result of his own mental in harmony. The circumstance which a man encounters with blessedness are the result of his own mental harmony. What we think determines what one does, one cannot have an evil mind and do good things even though people pretend you can always tell when one is doing something just for the sake of it. A man is not rightly conditioned until he is a happy, healthy and prosperous being and happiness, health and prosperity are the result of a harmonious adjustment of the inner with the outer of the man with his surroundings. This by appreciating the little that one has and not cursing yourself for not being similar with another person or being wealthy like others. Even though we are all different in this world, in the eyes of God we are all his children and same. We are all gifted and different ways, its up to us to identify ourselves in what ways we do best and how. Thoughts of fear, doubt, and indecision crystallize into weak, unmanly, and irresolute habits, which solidify into circumstances of failure, indigence, and slavish dependence. We fear when we are not confidence on what we are and what we can do, but if one was to shake off fear and doubts then one could be a better person. Like when one goes for an interview for the first time you get butterflies in the stomach even way before the interview start and so everything else goes hi-wire unless you control yourself. Even if he fails again and again to accomplish his purpose, as he must until weakness is overcome the strength of character gained will be the measure of his true success and his will form a new starting point for future power and triumph. We should count failure as a stepping-stone and so not the end of everything. As the physically weak man can make himself strong by careful and patient training so the man of weak thoughts can make them strong by exercising himself in right thinking. To put away aimlessness and weakness and only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment. The most important thing is for one to identify the weak points or where one went wrong in life and start working from that point. We all make mistakes as we grow and learn from them and so do we make an impact. A man weakness and strength, purity and impurity, are his own and not another mans. They are brought about by himself and not by another and they can only be altered by himself, never by another. We are sometimes ignorant of errors we make and instead of looking for solutions we blame nature or other people. Part 2 - Personal Impact & Practical Value: Man holds the key to every situation and contains within himself that transforming and regenerative agency by which he may make himself what he wills. This reminds me once again of books and reading even though it has not gotten well into my systems but whenever I complete reading a book that’s when I realize how important and helpful the book will be to me. I have also learnt in a hard way that people who do not read are always behind news and rarely participate in any debate whether general knowledge, political or religious. One has to read to know what is going on either regionally or internationally or else you remain a backbencher forever. I have learnt from this that practice and patient are the in thing and are similar to bank savings. I did not know that I was spending more than what I earned until I started asking for advance in the middle of the month, this did not go on well because I got used to the system. At one time my boss had traveled and so I could not get the advance as used, so the remaining fifteen days of that month were a hell but I m glad they taught me a lesson that I will live to tell. I came a cross a finance magazine talking about managing your finances and the key points that I highlighted from the magazine was writing down daily expenses no mater how petty and working out the total expenses at the end of the month. Believe you me my expenses were one and a half times my pay and they was no way I was going to survive with such kind of expenses. Out of the expenses I ticked the regular and unnecessary expenses even though they were cheap they totaled up to consume a lot of my money by the end of month. The next step was to avoid them at all cost and of course it has not been easy but it’s working. The first thing I did was to stop carrying the ATM card and extra cash, I also avoided going places where I could be tempted to abrupt shopping. I have been doing this for the last one year now and my expenses have reduced by almost 70%, which to me its great and I don’t intend to stop there until they drop to at least 90% if not 100. This has not been easy though but it’s working. I have finally managed to take control of my finance and not the other way round, we learn through our own mistakes and not anyone else. That a man’s mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild. Our mind are like a small baby who will swallow anything its being fed on and the worst it can do is vomit once full or dissatisfied, and so when the baby is malnourished the baby cease to grow healthy but will still grow anyway. The same case applies to our minds that as long as it’s fed on with the right materials then the outcome are overwhelming and brilliant, if otherwise then the results are pathetic. Our mind will remain whether fed or not but the physical body portrays our thinking. Even though we cannot all be the same we need to work on to improve and it’s only through reading and understanding that we can change to the best. Well-weeded minds tells from far and are the kind that leaves people’s mouth opened with shock such are the confidence, negotiations, working skills and devotion. A neglected mind shy away from the crowd and tend to be crawl back slowly and unless pinned down. When one is conscious enough you will like to know where the leaders get information from and thus research through books and other materials to get the answers. As the saying goes that “an idle mind is devils workshop” we should try as much to keep our mind occupied with healthy materials. Mind tends to relax and remain in a similar position for long unless made perform. Man imagines that thought can be kept secret, but it cannot. One will always spill the bean at some time whether intentionally or not. I remember when we were young we used to visit one of our family friend and even spend a night there. In the process we realized that unlike home, their parents used to keep loose coins near reach and so we started taking a coin and buying sweets, which we could all share. It went on for sometime and we were tempted to take even more and so one day their mother did not have enough money to buy some greens and when she went to check on where they use to keep coins she was shocked to find the tin empty. She came back where we were seated and asked if anyone might have take the coins, and since we had promised ourselves not to ever revile one another when caught no one said anything but the guiltiness on our eyes said it all. She gave us thorough beating and we had to say it all. Even the man whose sole object is to acquire wealth must be prepared to make great personal sacrifices before he can accomplish his object, and how much more so he who would realize a strong and well poised life. We sacrifice our time on less important things in our life for example when I get home; I tend to pre-plan my evening with various activities before the night falls. Sometimes I accomplish and sometimes I don’t this I have noticed is determined by the program that I will find on the Tv. While I comfort myself that I need just ten minutes to drink my tea and kick off with my activities, I end up seating on for half an hour or more and thus not finishing all that I had planned to do. This is just nothing but a tip on the iceberg and shows just how I am unable to manage and sacrifice my time. I always tell myself that reading is more important and better than watching tv, while the tv will bring ready made and scattered materials, books will provide more enriched information and directly from the author hence more advantageous. I spend more time on tv with lame excuses, such like I m too tired today and that for an extra ten minutes the program will be over and more and more and the day goes like that. If we could stick and work hard to accomplish our plans then the world could be a better place to live. A man only begins to be a man when he ceases to whine and revile, and commences to search for the hidden justice which regulates his life. He ceases to accuse others as the cause of his condition and builds himself up in strong noble thoughts, ceases to kick against circumstances but begins to use them as aids to his more rapid progress and as a means of discovering the hidden powers and possibilities within himself. This usually happens especially at teenage when for example parents choose the career for you and you don’t get employment immediately, the teens blames the parents for choosing a career that is not marketable other than looking for ways to add on to the career chosen. One tends to lay the blame wholly on the parent and sit back as if the parents are the ones suffering. At this level the teens will refuse to adhere to anything else that the parents suggest by blaming them of the misfortune and forgetting that since one does not have money you still needs them till you are financially independent. Anyone can make mistake and move on, but at that level one thinks the parents had undermined you hence the reason to choose something without involving you. Mans prayers and wishes are only gratified and answered when they harmonized with his thoughts and action. Sometimes when we pray and request for something we expect and instant respond from God and so we seat and wait for the miracle to happen even for small things that require our efforts. Like for example one might be praying for a well paying job but other than thinking on how you can improve on your current one by maybe training further while waiting for a greener pasture, we just seat and wait. We keep on checking on the papers and applying for as many jobs vacancies as advertised and to our disappointment what one get are regrets, why because somebody else somewhere had better papers than me and since I don’t want to tire my mind I simply conclude that the job was not meant for me, but if one was to pay more attention on the job requirements maybe you could have noticed the papers required and what you need to acquire them other than just praying and waiting for the day that God will give me a better job, A stronger man cannot help a weaker unless that weaker is willing to be helped. And even then the weak man must become strong of himself. He must, by his own efforts, develop the strength, which he admires in another. None but himself can alter his condition. There is always someone willing to help out as long as one is interested or I may say, “Curiosity kills the cat”. Another person will not know of my problems unless I tell them. The same case implies to learning institution even though they will advertise the various courses that they offer they cannot force a student to attend classes. So I believe it’s the weaker person who should show some interest in whichever area that is less understood to get more information. We all go to college to learn, materials that we think will be of benefit to our work or living conditions. I remember enrolling myself to bakery classes not because I work in a bakery but because I had tried baking in the house unsuccessfully and the lessons I learnt helped me to know where I went wrong. If one seeks help then you should be ready to meet the challenges in the process. He who has conquered weakness and has pushed away all selfish thoughts belongs neither to oppressor nor oppressed. He is free. A man can only rise, conquer and achieve by lifting up his thoughts. He can only remain weak, abject and miserably by refusing to lift up his thoughts. One thought cannot just be lifted without hard work, and so is everything else. This reminds me of how I used to admire people with confidence in discussions or presentations in meetings but unfortunately I never made any effort beyond admiring them, why because I thought they were just lucky and from a well up family. This tends to be the short cut for weak persons to remain weaker. Ignorance also plays a vital role in oneself and unless one thinks twice you can remain standstill forever. It is also hard for one to accept the weakness in oneself. For example those people who do well in schools are related to being from a very bright family and so the lazy gene here concludes that education is genetic and not through hard work and so one does not conquer weakness but rather mold it. I remember when I was learning driving, during my lessons reversing was a problem and especially the T turn and whenever my instructor asked me try it I could suggest something else and so with time I completed my driving lessons even though I could not reverse comfortably. I later learnt how to reverse through a friend’s car and so sometimes even though we want to learn the confidence to say you don’t understand get swallowed in by the fear of being embarrassed or termed as a fool. There can be no progress nor achievement without sacrifice and a mans worldly success will be by the measure that he sacrifices his confused animal thoughts, and fixes his mind on the development of his plans and the strengthening of his resolution and self reliance. We need to sacrifice our time and energy to realize our dreams. Sometimes we sacrifice our time on un materialistic things like one will opt to watch Tv unlike reading, sleep unlike doing community work or church activities. I have realize that the more you set your mind onto doing easy things the more relaxed it gets and when you try to involve yourself with complex activities that you are not used too then you tire fast. All that we need is to tune our mind to the best and it will adjust accordingly. Self-control is strength. Right though is mastery. Calmness is power. Part 3 - Summary: The book is an eye opener for the sleeping minds, or for people like me who are afraid of failure yet do nothing to improve. To me it will be a bed side book its kind that is so encouraging and will keep one on toes to succeed. I also found it challenging for the weak in heart and mind and the various tactics that one can use to move on. It talks about real life and daily encounters and how they should be tackled. Even though the sentences are a bit too long and thus making it difficult to understand at a glance, I think it’s a book that needs to be read by everybody. The first time a read through the book I thought it was talking about me and basically advising me on what to do. The various issues discussed in the book are real and most motivating. The serenity chapter left me mouth opened I had nothing to say but to further search my soul and see where I stand. The book for sure has played a major role in me and I treasure it!! Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach. PART ONE: Content review The issue of practicing without tiring is a real challenge given that I am impatient with somethings and tend to tire-up halfway. Like for example I can start doing something with very high spirits but only for one week come the following week I slow down and the third week or so I give up. The book has helped me to know how more patient one is supposed to be to succeed in life, no matter how small something might sound. I have also learnt that everything is possible with a determined heart whether people support you or not. If Jonathan Seagull had given up when he was brought to the center of shame he could not have become an instructor. Some people like senior staff in an organization will try to bring you down so you don't look more superior than them. Although it's kind of risky to their job one should be given an opportunity to be heard. It is also through hard work that one is able to go up the ladder of success either in community or work place. Our own family members might also not appreciate us but other people do and recognize us as team leader. Like in some cases after high school parents don't give children an opportunity to choose their career or even discuss it with them. This causes conflict when an adult is forced to do something just to please the parents, in such a case one end up dropping out of college if the issue is not well addressed. I have learnt not to take other people for granted and that one should listen before you make a conclusion. If Jonathan was given an opportunity by the elder to prove his point the whole lot of flocks could have benefited from the word go. It has also shown how difficult it can be to help a person in need when not given an opportunity to express the point. I have also learnt how hard it is for people to change from their old styled living condition to an improved one and especially when they are being involved in making the changes, they opt to remain in the same situations for life. It also shows how determined one must be to overcome challenges; it requires a lot of devotion, willingness and time for one to change. People fear change because of maybe ignorance, cultural barrier, religious or lack of knowledge. The book clearly shows how elders in any given community can degrade its members without much of a thought. They can also humiliate members to an extent of making them outcasts which is even more frustrating and embarrassing. Elders in this case don't want other members to institute ideas beyond them. Such kind of leadership destroys developments and decision-making, and especially in cases where the elders' word is final. It has also shown how people go out of their way for the sake of their community or to prove a point to the crowd and how things can be possible with a determined heart. One also has to believe in oneself for others to believe in you, this is from the confidence to the way you present yourself in the crowd. It also shows one that support from others is not guaranteed even the close family members who you could expect some assistance, unless one is strong enough such frustrations can bring you down to earth. The books has also shown me that they are better days to come after all the suffering in the earth and that at sometime they are people who will appreciate your effort. All the hard work in the earth will determine your eternal life in heaven and that's why maybe Jonathan Seagull was shocked to find fewer gulls in heaven than expected. It is also very hard to forgive and forget, those bad feelings about somebody who hurts you so much keeps cropping up every now and then. We tend to carry the grudge throughout our lives and when something similar happens the hatred comes back. Depending on how bad it was it can create bad hatred in any given society. We should learn how to forgive and move on with life. This can be possible by maybe avoiding situations that can lead to such incidents. Ignorance is one of the shortest way out of avoiding learning or doing something. A friend once told me that if I thought learning was difficult then I should try ignorance. The world is changing and we need to change with it and especially the technologies being invented like the Internet, microwave, mobile phones and such. People want to be spoon fed with ready-made material. I sometimes wished I had worked harder in school because I have come to realize that without education you are a garbage, this from getting a good job, interacting with colleagues, making decisions in our workplace to generally how one lives. Most of the decisions we make in life are highly determined by ones level of intelligence and thatís why we sometimes see other people decisions petty or childish or too brilliant. Till you can fly past and future, shows how we should live a day at a time and that yesterday is gone forever but tomorrow is forever. We shouldn't cling on the past but rather move on with even more boldness for us to succeed. The past holds us back from moving on and especially if one canít let go and move on, it can make ones life tedious. PART TWO: Personal impact & practical value. Change is something that at sometime we fear to implement. I remember when Internet was first introduced in our city, I managed to get a part time job with a cyber cafÈ the job was interesting because I could only work on weekends so I had a way of spending my weekends. However, I did not bother to know why and how people browsed. My work was just to note the time they have signed in and out and charge them accordingly. I had made conclusion down inside me that browsing was a western thing and dirty in our community, and that one had to be really idle to browse. I came to learn more of the Internet two years later after I had stopped working with the cyber cafÈ and I had pay dearly for that ignorance because Internet tuition had demand and very few institutions were offering it at that time. It also became a requirement for one to get a better job and so I had no choice but to enroll myself to a college to learn things which I could have learnt while working part time. Even though I have highlighted this issue of change it sometimes takes forever for me to implement it. Self-denial, we sometimes think other people are more special than us forgetting that each and every person has a gift and that we cannot all be the same. It's through interest and learning than one can identify the various activities one can perform best. It's also through determination and hard work that bore successful fruits. When I was in high school our teachers used to emphasis hard work and concentration in our work and since I was kind of lazy when it comes to reading then I concluded that all the bright students were gifted and that they did not need to work hard to pass their exams. Now is when I realize the importance of working hard and especially when in school or college it pays back and when one is growing up and meeting challenges in various industries. I know for sure I did not make an effort of reading harder, but I also believe its never too late because when I realized the mess I had done, I knew there was no way out other than working hard. These has its consequences because that time I had all the time to read while now my time is limited and I have to pay for my tuition fees, take care of my family, work and still create time for reading and revision which has not been a smooth running. Once you know your own rights they set you to freedom; we are free to go where we wish and to be what we are. This relates to when one is growing up and meet with all sorts of friends some who are influential while others are polite, most of the influential friends knows a lot and attract crowd as they act like role models, they also don't care if you are there or not. At times we join friends who have a bad reputation but since one what to be seen with them, one ends up being in the wrong company which can be dangerous because you don't have a mind of your own as the decisions are made by the leaders only. Such decisions may not be beneficial to all members and since you don't want to be rejected from the crowd then you take whatever comes on the way. Its is good for one to think and reason out the kind of the crowd you are moving out with and whether they are of any benefit to you and your life. The book also reminds me when one is growing up, and the family still recognize you as a child and to some extend the parents decision tends to be final. We all have stages in life and at one time one is a fetus, an infant, child, a teenage and finally an adult. One is treated differently as you grow up but the final level is abit complex and difficult for the parents to acknowledge, this cause a lot of conflict in the house between the parents and the teenagers. I remember even after completing college my mum used to treat me like a primary school girl and we always argued on small things, which could have been avoided. Even when I started working she would still question me, our relationship became better after I was married. It has also proved that at some stage in life one will have to make a decision based on your goals in life. Such decisions tears family apart and especially between the parents and children to an extend of the adult child moving out of the homestead to create peace for both parties. PART THREE: Summary I think the book is kind of interesting and especially how one relates with a crowd like in a community. It has also give us the tactics of handling difficult people in our society and especially people like the elders, chairmen etc whose decision is taken by its members as final. This holds on to development, as it is not given a second thought, it can also be humiliating to prove a point to such a crowd. The book has emphasized more on some qualities of a good leader like for example devotion, confidence, determination, hard work, patience and basically what it takes to achieve. The grammar used is also well understood.
Part 1 ~ Content review Success is achieved by those who try and maintain bit those who keep trying with PMA. I have come to learn that without hard work you cannot move mountain. Working hard all the time can be tiring but I also think with purpose it can be rewarding too. It is the PMA talisman that I could say I luck and so I will always have a negative attitude on almost everything that I start. But I think one has no choice but to keep trying and even trying harder for you to be successful in life. Failure is experienced by those who when they experience defeat stop trying to find the something more. We only try once and start off on something else we aren’t patient in projects and maybe that’s how we loss opportunities in life. We want to start off and be famous as soon as we set the ball rolling. We are poor not because of God but because of the altitude we face life with. I count myself luck that I got the basic education I know very well they are thousands of people who cannot even write their names or read. And so we should count our blessings but when things don’t work the way we turn back and start complaining and do nothing. It sounds strange how we count on other people’s blessings but we ignore what we have and what we can do to get better. Sometimes we conclude that we were not born with a silver spoon and so things cannot work no matter how hard we work. Sometimes we keep our minds on things that we lest require in life and thus end up wasting a lot of valuable time. I think its good for one to be self-disciplined in life no matter how small something might look or sound. Keep your mind on the thing you want and off the thing you don’t want. A scheduled day and evening will save a lot of time I think also idleness as it’s said is devils workshop and can be avoided at all time. It is the NMA that pulls the other men down from the top when they have reached up. It can also retain one in a similar position for so long and thus becoming a coward to face the challenges. Other than it being personal and highly influenced by the people one associate with and kind of the books you read. PMA on the other hand require continuous practice without tiring no matter how small something may sound. It can be discouraging too and especially when on has failed two or more times. Just like fire it requires refueling. Personally, I will translate problem into nothing else but problem and will try to work hard to solve it and other than translating problems into advantages. Problems will leave us in a worse position than one would ever like to be. We try to solve them in full blast and hope they were just misfortune, will learn nothing from them but try to avoid any signs that could lead to a similar situation. I personally don’t solve problems from advantageous point of view but will take it negatively and vigorously. The burden is upon you to doing what is right or wrong and to know what is good and evil under given circumstance and at given time, one of the best ways to learn is to expose yourself with regularity to a religious environment and to seek divine guidance daily. This reminds me of the recent sermon we had in church which I thought was rather challenging, the theme of the sermon was “Whose Song are you dancing to” and this deeply touched me because the preacher emphasized on how most of the time we tend dance other peoples song which I thought it was kind of true. I hence made my motto every time I find myself in a mess or when that negative talisman turns on me I have learnt to ask myself whose song I am dancing to and believe you me it doing wonders in my life. Study, think and plan these are two very important points from my point of view and I think we don’t use them concurrently thus leading to no where and especially planning, hardly will you find one planning for the day and especially when you are free. One tends to slot in activities, which are less rewarding. For example on a Saturday afternoon when I have nothing to do, I tend think of how I will spend the little money that I have on maybe going to the salon, shopping or just making unnecessary visits. While the church offers an afternoon basketball for ladies at no extra cost I will only participant on very rare occasions. Seeing is a learned skill but like any other still it must be exercised, it is through seeing that one is able to differentiate the good and the bad. One has to be really attentive to see and learn something from it. One problem with seeing is the temptation of wanting what you have see for example a nice car, outfit, hairstyle or even house. It all depends on how one takes it if one is negative then seeing can provoke jealousy but with a positive mind you may be forced to work harder to afford it. You can be what you want to be if you’re willing to pay the price, regardless of the past experience, aptitude, IQ or environment you have the power to choose. Maybe it’s the power to choose that one lucks in life everyone one will think that you are making the right decision to be where you are and to move to where you want to be and strange enough one is comfortable with the arrangements and unless something else happens in life then one will not wish to change. Like reading these inspiration books has never crossed my mind and I am sure there are thousands and thousands of people who don’t know this books exist and what they can do to change ones way of living just by the turn of a knob. Even though we are in a third world I think vast majority of us prefer doing other things given the option books. We so much believe in reading for exams and maybe for the church and that’s it. We will also opt for short stories from the magazines and newspaper. Things keep changing even when I am not changing. I remember for sometimes now the tourism industry have been asking for the IATA Diploma certificate as the major requirement for employment and even though I have lost many opportunities in the industry for luck of the said certificate I never took it beyond the interview room until recently when I made my mind to attempt it. It could have cost less if I did it at the right time Part two ~ Personal impact & practical value: Setting high goals in life and working hard towards achieving them is important. We tend to set goals that don’t have time limit and thus making the objectives to be valid for as long as one lives and be there forever and unsuccessful. It is good to have limits of the goals that we set in life; I remember when I was doing tourism for the first time it was so interesting that I promised myself that I will have established my own tour firm and 10yrs down the line and the idea still rings in my head but have not made a move. 10yrs may sound a long time to come by but it has just passed and did not noticed until I read this book and was thinking what had I aimed to do with my life professionally, I counted the years since the last time I was in tour college and even though it sounded like it was just the other day, I did my first exam in March 1995. This is how easily one can sleep over a goal forever, but I am not stopping there only that this time round my timings will have to be less and hopefully more effective. I intend to have a note book based on my goals which I will be reading and updating every other minute. Without these then I don’t see myself achieving any goals even if I live to be 100 NPM repels, this I think is when one makes a wrong decision and sit on it. One tends to luck interest in life and so conclude that that life is just okay the way it is. I remember sometime back when tourism was flailing down, I decided to change career and be someone else which up to date I don’t know what I wanted to change too and so I went back to college and did a bit of management and in the process I thought marketing was better and since we had a chance to change, I changed to Marketing in level 3. And just then tourism started picking again I thought if I could do level II of consultancy with an IATA exams I will be able to get a better job and so that’s what I am doing now till next year March. I am just hoping that I made the right decision. Greatness comes to those who have a burning desire to achieve high goals. I spend a lot of my valuable time doing less important things and sometimes I will even comfort my self on saying that I just need a quiet moment for myself which I think even though its healthy it can be misused but mine is so bad that I once tried writing down how I spent my day and was so embarrassed to find that almost 50% of my time is spent doing un materialistic things, things which you cannot account for. I am working hard to manage my time and hope that one day I will look back and say from that time in the year 2005 my life started taking a different and successfully diversion and was my best turn around point. Sometimes I think it’s a matter of mental discipline but planning ones day and money its very important and I think too it’s never too late to turn around Nothing is accomplished without hard work. This once again reminds me of my days in school and especially in college when I started realizing that without working hard the result will be below average, due to my very low glades I had to do a foundation course for 3mths. I thought I was the only one and so I was wondering how the lecturer will take it and was sure he must have known what glades I scored, so when I attended the first class I could not believe what I saw, the class was full to capacity and infact I was the last student to be admitted. This however did not guarantee that you could move to the next level unless you pass your foundation and so I promised myself that I will not sit for the exam twice but once. It was a bit difficult in the beginning but I made it with a pass. In the next level I said I should not be getting a pass but should work harder and get higher glades I a credit in level 2 and 3, when I resume for level 4&5 will work hard for a distinction. We tend to see the mote on the other persons eye and go to an extend to trying to change the way they live, its very strange that before you can even make you personal move you will have tried to move a thousands other peoples lives and decisions. I sometimes think that if I was in another person’s position I could done so much but I don’t sit to reason what I can do from where I am now. I once admired my friend who lives in a farm and even went ahead to implement on the many things I could do with the farm if I was the one living there. I also tried to sell the idea to her but her she was set on her own ideas this did not go on well as I was insisting on her combing her ideas with mine and at one time I thought she was not as sharp as I am but why couldn’t I get my own farm because I think the place she stays its quiet remote. Are you seeing only the mote in the other fellow’s eye? I could answer yes and not only one person but thousands. When faced with a problem that involves misunderstandings with other person I must first start with myself. Mostly I will start with the other person and of course blow a mountain out of it. It’s interesting how we led life and the perseverance that one has to go through to create peace with other people. I remember sometimes back I never wanted to be the loser in any argument no matter how silly it might have been, I later came to learn that even though I did not loose I ended up finding myself very unreasonable. I learnt this lesson once when we had argument with my friend and she ended up surrendering and I thought I had own. Later on I met another lady who apparently happened to be a friend to both us. Over the usual chit chat she told me of the incidents that we had with my other friend and how my other friend withdrew from it not because she was at fault but because she thought my argument was not heading anywhere and that it dragging unnecessarily. I sincerely felt so embarrassed and especially that she had told her and I could not tell how many other people she might have told. From that day I learnt that sometimes you could withdraw from a conversation not because you are a loser but because you have seen ahead of the person you are arguing with. From that day I learnt also that you don’t have to talk and especially if you have nothing important to comment on. It is good to have limits and understand yourself first and better. God is always a good God, but its rather confusing how we relate him with unfortunate incidents. I remember when my dad finally passed on I asked God what he wanted us do now that we had no parents to turn too, and why he had to take my parents of all others. I read in another magazines if your were asked whose parent or child you could have liked to die, and I could not have picked any around my family as I saw we were big enough to take care of ourselves compared to others who were younger than us. I thought I was the only one blaming God about our parents death and when I asked my sister about it she told me that she asked God what she was supposed to do with her Secondary results since both parents had passed and no one was left to praise her if she passed. We were both amused on how weird we sometimes think and act against God. But looking back the years we have survived without parents we can only say there are getting more and more better because we decided to let go and move on. Be aggressive also require some gats and like me I will live it for the high headed people and even though I will admire the aggressiveness in them I will not to moved to be like them. In fact most of the time you don’t want to be faced by an aggressive person because you feel he might challenge you and since you have a whole load of negative attitude in you then you will try your best to avoid them. Like for example those people who sell insurance in office are said to be very aggressive and convincing and led one to sign on document way before you make up your mind. I remember the first time I signed and insurance I did it because the lady who was selling turned out to be our neighbor at home and so I did not want to let her down and have a bad reputation. Even though I could have opted for a better policy by getting more info of the various products that she was selling I took what she proposed first without even giving it a second thought. I later came to learn that she had other policies that were better than what I took and after sometime I was forced to abandon that and buy another one thus loosing money since I did not give it time to mature. Save one dime out of every dollar you earn each six months invest your money, even though I will save through women cooperatives I don’t pay myself as I saw from another inspiring book that you should pay yourself first. I have no idea how much I am worth a month and what I should do with the money. We tend to save verbally and not practically. I still maintain my daily expenses book, which I write all the days expenditure this has helped me reduce my expenses so much and I am trying to sell the idea to my friends as well. Small-unbudgeted items tend to consume a lot of money at the end of the month and if one is able to identify and avoid them then one can surely live within his budget. I have however, not thought of paying myself, which I think will be the next mini project, for now I am still trying to live within my salary We do not want to use other people’s money {OPM} for fear of loosing and not want to incur the bank charges and such. Approaching a bank for loan I think is one of the hardest thing to do and especially when you are not sure of the interest charges. I remember sometime this year when my sis was going back to school I did not have enough money but was expecting some in a 2wks time or so, I approached the bank for an emergency loan and when I was told of the loan application procedures I thought it was too much for a 2wks debts and even though I got it from a friend I think sometimes we are not prepared to meet the challenges in life and we expect things to be smooth all the way. I later thought I could have gone on and applied for a loan even with my friends help since I could have make my statement for future applications. I thought since the loan was short term then they did not have to ask for so many documentation. Acquiring wealth through inspirational books, this is no doubt the best way out and thus leading a quiet life and peaceful life. Have learnt that books are really encouraging whether real or fictitious they leave one more enriched than before. Its only that we prefer simple things but I have come to realize there is nothing complex with a determined mind, all the books that one comes across are written by human being and not any special than us its just a matter of interest and concentration that one is able to understand the contents outlined. You will however encounter hard words in the process but there is always a way out since they are dictionaries, which simplify the complex words. I remember when I was in high school even though I used to have a dictionary through out I hardly made use of it. I use to underline the words that were difficult on condition that I will go back and get the meaning of each word which I hardly did since I could have been forced to read the book twice and so most of the time I ended up not knowing the meaning of some words. Nowadays I if I have to get a word defined then I sort it out there and then if possible if not I will do it as soon as I lay my hands on a dictionary. This is however has been made possible because I keep one dictionary in the office and another one at home so I have no reason not to get the definition. Little knowledge becomes a dangerous thing, one does not know how dangerous it is until you find your self in a situation, which requires quick thinking, and you are stuck. It turns out to be very embarrassing and one wishes the world could swallow you. One of the things that promote little knowledge most of the time is ignorance, events pass us. I remember the last time I went for an interview I could not name all the national parks in our country even though we did them in college and hardly used some in the office I have never made any interest in trying to know if they still exist and what’s attracting there after college. It was very embarrassing no matter how much I wanted to prove that I really experienced. Its good to be broad and wide in knowledge. People with little knowledge think that what they know is the best and can stand firm on it, even thought the world is competitive one just remain old styled. For now I think my picture has nothing to say about me its completely blank cant even turn on it when in trouble, I will need a lot of input for me stand firm on
myself. When things get really bad and don’t know how and who to turn to, I think of my dead mum and wish she could answer me, I turn to her negatively hoping she was
alive and I could call her and get all the questions answered. I also think that I tend to bit more than I can chew which is also another problem I need to sort myself
out. When I turn to my mum I don’t keep quiet and wait for answers as suggested but I blame her for dying so early and leaving us unattended and yes at our age as in my
younger sister is 21yrs old, we want to be attended to the grave. It’s rather unfortunate but its real. Part three ~ Summary: Day by day in every way through the grace of God I am getting better and better, and as I read this book I got more and more enriched by the grammar, phrases and the inspirations inside the book I am no longer the same person I was before I read it. I am seeing the world from a different angle from the day I started reading this book. It is such an enriching kind that one cannot part with. It is like a reference book with all the materials that one needs in life. I will get even better because I have discovered new things and learnt where I went wrong in life and since I cannot reverse I will take from the scratch and move on even more stronger and determined. Adding something more, the something more can be another certificate, dressing code or even a new friend. Adding something that will add some value in once life. But hardly does one think for adding something more we tend to think that whatever we have pumped in is enough and so it should multiply automatically. One has to be really challenged to put in some effort. Its not the quantity of something more but the inspired of quality that counts. The effort we put in count and how often we do it. Engage in thinking, planning and study. I have also learnt that one has to move and get what you need, and that laying the foundation does not come easily, I had to adjust many thing even in my house to accommodate learning programs for the family. Like watching TV is done at specific times of the day and when necessary or after accomplishing a certain task this applies to my children too and thus encouraging them to read more and do other extra curriculum activities. One has to start from somewhere and even though it has some hiccups here and there I sure at the end of it all we will all benefit from the arrangements. . It is important to introduce independent learning to children when still young sot hey can have it with then as they grow. The 17 principles of success through PMA are now at the tips of my fingers, it is extremely strange how I have been leading my life, and I have been in complete darkness with no light at all. Not that I have been taking life for granted though but I just did not know where I was heading. And believe you me I have only been applying like just 3% and not that I knew better, I thought I was leading my life to the fullest but this book has helped me to know there is more to life, through a positive approach. I intend to make use of all the 17 principles and I am sure by the end of it all I will have achieved something that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Raw deal in life is “a lazy mans proverb” which I did not know till I read it, when things don’t work out the way we want we conclude that the world is the unfair place to live in, and if the first battle was fought for us then the rest should be easy to tackle. If we could identify ourselves with successful image and no self-doubt and defeat in mind then we should be able to move on successfully. Thinking good thoughts, positive and cheerful thoughts will improve the way you feel. What affects your mind also affects you body. And its all in our minds, before I learnt this from another book I use to think that those people who talk a lot and laugh out were just showing-off. Until later on when I learnt how healthy it is even to laugh out loudly. Somethings are just unique in there own way even though laughing is supposed to be natural its greatly affected by what is in ones mind and you cannot fake it out. People who are jovial are brighter on their faces compared to serious faces. It has been my observation that people are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be. You require a lot of comforting and encouragement to help you move on strongly with PMA it is true that vast majority of us don’t know about the PMA some because we are ignorance while others believe in their world of their own. I am realizing with time that knowledge is the best tutor in this life and no matter how boring it maybe there is now short cut. If I had not gotten into interest and browse on almost all institution that promote leadership I could still be in darkness it is the thirst to learn that lead me to establish your institution. Success through Positive Mental Attitude is the best book I have ever read in my life. Real Magic Keys To Success Psycho-Cybernetics 2000 1. What Ideas were personally most important to you in this book? Do not simply list the ideas, but explain or discuss why they were important to you, using personal examples. How to overcome habits of shyness and self-consciousness, it all about self-confidence, which require continuous effort. I remember the first time I joined a typing college in our home area it was like I had just been blown from a cocoon and I really felt uncomfortable in class because I did not have enough confidence to even interact with fellow students and for about 3mths I suffered quietly not knowing how to make friends, and looking back I just see how much I lost because of luck of confidence. Where do I start, awareness that something in your life just isn't working. This is what lead me to browsing and learning more about leadership I felt that I was missing something in life did not know how to go about it and I am sure if I had not browsed through the internet I could not be the kind of person I am today. It reminds of a vernacular saying when directly translated can mean, “ The person who want to go for along call is the one who looks for the toilet and not vise versa”. Write down the goals you could like to achieve even if it seems no more than a dream, I did not have specific goals in life until I joined the leadership learning and sure enough it has taught me to live differently and see the world from a different angle. I used to think broadly and never took any action to implement my broad thinking but now I am more than armed with the right tools and sure to prosper with determination and being positive in life. Become the person you want to be, first I think one need to know who you are as in the kind of person you are, the personality that you have and the person you want to be in future. From that angle then it will be easier to make effective changes accordingly. A negative self-image can be erased, like a tape recording and replaced with a new positive self-image. 2. Can you relate the ideas or concepts in this book to your personal circumstances in life such as your relationships, your beliefs, your goals, your values, etc? Please use Personal examples in your explanation. Early this year I attended parenting classes for 12weeks, Saturdays only and what I learnt from the classes was just amazing, I learnt a lot on achieving a loving relationship, how to develop more effective parenting skills and surprisingly the same has be repeated in this book. There is so much that we take for granted when parenting and child discipline. For example, I did not know how humiliating it is to punish a child in front of the other, how it affects the child morale and confidence. The way we bring up our children is the way they will grow up to be, in other words they are just photocopies of our own selves. I didn't also know that parenting starts from as early as 8mths, and severe beating is not a solution but damages the child even more. The way we were brought up is quite different from present parenting, we could not reason with our parents when it came to punishments but today's children know their rights and sometimes will want to know if they must be beaten or given punishment. People always feel, act and behave according to what they imagine to be true about themselves and their circumstances. This reminds me of how I used to admire girls with high self-esteem and confidence both in high school and college, and at one time I thought they were just proud and showing-off. Later on in life I learnt it was natural. I also realized that they moved very first in life unlike me who was kind of shy and withdrawn. To learn to grow to move forward from patterns that have become comfortable and secure requires courage the willingness to take risks to make decisions to take the action needed to translate goals and desires into realities. Most of the comfortable and secure places are jobs no matter how frustrating they are, I will convince myself that as long as I get paid at the end of the month then nothing good come for free. The idea of job searching just makes one to be more perseverance in very most inhuman work places. I once went for an interview halfheartedly and could not just concentrated on the questions I was being asked, I kept thinking supposing I get this job and then I am unable to perform and they sack me I will end up jobless plus its better the devil I know than the saint I don't know. I realized I was not serious on job searching and that I needed to make up my mind for better for worse. She put a mirror on her desk beside her telephone computer; she made a point of looking into it and smiling every time she took a call until it had become a habit. “You can fake it till you make it”. I have also tried using the mirror and it has surely help to improve my physical appearance and confidence. My friends used to comment that I am always serious and unapproachable and when I read the Real Magic book I started implementing the use of mirror and it has helped me. It reminds oneself that you are still there and beautiful. It also helps one to be conscious of the face and redo it when need be. So its not only helps you to smile often but also to keep your face in order. Sleep on it, sleeping on it when there is a problem you are trying to solve is not an empty cliché. I did not know you can sleep on a problem until one day I had a problem which I talked over to my friend expecting her to give me an instant solution and when she told me that we sleep on it and give it a thorough thinking I thought she was dreaming as I was looking forward to an answer there and then. I went home a very disappointed person and even started thinking maybe I was a bother to her and that's why she could not help me come up with a conclusive decision immediately, and thus concluded she was not a friend in need anymore. The following day I decided not to call her but to my surprise she came to my office with enough solutions and this just caught me by surprise and it was unbelievable. I had to sincerely tell her how I thought she has changed. She told me the importance of sleeping on a problem, which seems unsolvable and giving yourself time to digest it. I can say I first learnt about this from her, which has been very helpful. 3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please Explain. Be careful what you say to your children. They may agree with you. Before calling a child stupid or clumsy or bad or a disappointment. It is important for a parent to consider the question, is this how I wish my child to experience himself or herself. Sometimes I think parents just snap and regret when the damage is already done. I m trying to get out of the habit of making unnecessary noise, I can say it unnecessary because after its all over I seat down and try to think the purpose of all that and have learnt even though in a hard way that I approached the situation with anger and that not only was I solving that problem but was also trying to fight with my own anger at the same time. I m trying to especially talk softly and composed, every time I find myself shouting at the children I hold my breath for like 10mins and release it slowly. At one time my daughter thought I was not ok when I suddenly kept quiet in the middle of a sentence. I sat her down and tried to explain how bad I feel when I make noise and that they should not make me shout myself out of the house as it gives me a bad headache, had to add that to make her see how bad it is. I just happened to be the bridge when lightning struck, I am still fine. This reminds me of my former boss, I had written to him enough times on my salary increment without response and so one day I decided to hold the bull by its horns and approached him. What I got from him made me wonder why I had done so in the first place, he told me not only is he unable to increase my pay but we are also closing down due to his financial constraints. It took me awhile to digest that information and almost got me depressed for like 2wks. I did not know what to do till I saw an advert on the newspaper on my career that I came back to my sense that I could get another job. Even though I did not get the one I applied for at that time, I started talking to friends in the same industry and managed to get a job somewhere else. Sometimes you need a tap on your back to move on 4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, explain how? I have been challenged on especially cancel and Craft and have started making use of both of them and have learnt the difference it is making in my life. If I think something that is disturbing me cannot be solved there and then or the thoughts don't seems to be conclusive then I have learnt how cancel and move on. Sometimes the thoughts are coming back but with repeated cancellations it has been working for me. I have also learnt to take life easy and not to over burden myself with un-reasonable thoughts or things that are just time consuming. I remember one time I was reading and I got interrupted with something which I had not finished in the office and since I had already left and they was nothing I could have done I tried canceling it out enough times just to concentrate on my reading, Later on it just disappeared and noted how easy you can get rid of small things. 5. Are there ideas in the book that you totally disagree with? If so, why? No 6. What did you find most helpful “Yabbit” someone who wants to get out of rut but kept making excuses not to. I found this to be most helpful to me as I can call myself a Yabbit too. I tend to take long to make decision. I have learnt also that the more time I take trying to make a decision the higher the chances of me not ever deciding. Excuses keeps cropping-up every now and then and other things come and go as I sit on mine. A friend once told me that the sun will still raise and set whether one move and that I couldn't hold others from moving on. Another thing that holds me back from moving on is thinking that I know my limit which is true to some extend but have just learnt how wrong I have been that in fact I have been chained to them. And least helpful in this book? Did not find anything less helpful in the book. 7. In 50 words or less please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey. The book is trying to give tips on how one can change and become a better person in life. It has also some ways of how to go about it. Giving the reader real life
experiences from other people has also helped to prove that one can change from whatever situation one is in to a better person. ]Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor. Giant Steps 1. What Ideas were personally most important to you in this book? Do not simply list the ideas, but explain or discuss why they were important to you, using personal examples. * I should not try to be perfect, but just an excellent example of being human. I have noticed that I waste a lot of time trying to be a perfectionist and especially in the house and with children, I get even more annoyed when I try to force them to do things which sometimes are not real with children; for example making them keep quite during news time or wanting them to eat in a certain way. * Financial freedom, and the ability to manage my finances. I found this to be most important, as it's the core item in our day-to-day living. Have learned that without budget and saving one cannot even fulfill set goals, as they all require mostly money. * The sun will still set, I found this concept important because some of the things I do in life I assume that life will standstill until I make up my mind, and as I was going through my certificates I noticed that I did not complete my marketing course which I had started some two years back and as I plan and budget to resume back to college the sun will still set and rise. My personal development goals for this year is to finish marketing course which I left half way, this I am sure will add more skills on selling and customer service, and an outstanding confidence and courage to help me along the way * Making use of the mirror 7days a week, 5 times daily just grinning this has been helping me to reconstruct my face every now and then. I noticed that even though silent and humble inside me sometimes my face portrays something different, sometimes sad, too oily or even unkempt. So the mirror has been helping me to remain jovial and neat. And somehow slowly it is building up my confidence when talking to people or even walking, as I don't have to worry about my face or lips or even hair. * Nothing and no one can change what I feel expect me Leaders are readers, reading at least 30mins daily Improving myself in everyway and every single day and not sitting down and expecting a miracle to happen. I have noticed that my body will do what I want it do even though not rewarding in terms of time and money or even knowledge. * What will I be in 10yrs, what do I need to do to get there, what challenges do I face, how do I handle them. I found this to be important and especially when setting my goals and giving myself limits so I just don't set them. 2. Can you relate the ideas or concepts in this book to your personal circumstances in life such as your relationships, your beliefs, your goals, your values, etc? Please use Personal examples in your explanation. * Never spend more than 10% of your time on problem, always spend at least 90% on solution. This is something that I will live by because I think I have been doing the opposite and thus blowing a mountain out of a hill. I can testify that,” An idle mind is a devils workshop” I tend to analyze the problems inside out and sometimes even get personal. I also don't tend to reason out if I could be the problem but wholly take the opponent as the problem. If for example it was a family issue I will think over it during the day and come up with the solution but once I reach home then I start all over again like the problem was fresh and unless we talk over it then I can easily take it to bed and for the next couple of days. I am learning to see the situation as it is and not worse. * I have discovered numerous positive ways to change my negativity. One of the most common ways I have been using is singing when I get upset or somebody closes my path or just when I feel down and it has really helped me out. I will sing all sorts of songs and repeat the once that I feel are flowing well and especially gospel songs. It has helped me because I m the kind of a person who get carried away by issues for such along time and sometimes making my days/nights even longer than usual. * I am now able to spend less than what I earn, since I started writing down all my daily expenses it has really helped me to know how much money I spend on what. I have been doing this for the last 2years now and has it not only set me free from financial debts but I have learnt also how to budget and put first things first. Initially it was difficult to account for especially small things but I am now used to it and I have also adopted a way of shopping with a list. I have been strictly shopping on based on the list and if I see something that may need I note it down and tell myself that I will include it in the next shopping. This is another thing that is doing wonders in my life and hope I will stick to it forever, I am no longer buying things just because there are on special offer. * Focus each day on making the relationship better, I expect my husband to also do the same and maybe that's were we collude. Because if I do something extremely unique for him or family and it goes unnoticed then of course I end up concluding that my effort in our marriage is not noticed. Even though sometimes he will say he had not noticed any changes I will still think he is not keen on our family for him not to notice. Sometimes its just too hard to just give and not get anything in return, I need boosters in my life for me to move on I cannot be the only one giving out and getting nothing in return. It takes patience, love and tolerance for relationships to be stronger and long lasting. 3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please Explain. * A hero is a person who courageously contribute under even the most trying circumstance, live in an attitude of positive expectancy, knowing that everything that happen in life benefits one in some way, also I should not look for heroes but be one. This has challenged me to face life with courageously and broad other than been limited to what I know best. * Habit is the best of servants or the worst of masters, old habit can change and new habit learnt even though sometimes we get used to old habits and make them part of our lives with determination and positive mental attitude then it is possible to change from one habit to the other. * Next time I start getting upset with someone I will remember that I m not upset with the person but I am reacting to my rule for the situation. I will ask myself what's more important my rules or our relationship with this person. * Patience, taking a deep breath holding it for 10mins and releasing it slowly, taking time before reaching to conclusion, being positive in what I do and say. Not personalizing issues, practicing different ways of solving issues and taking time to learn from them. I have noticed that the problem is not the problem that I am experiencing at that moment but the problem is me. If I look at a problem with a negative attitude then it will be even harder for me to solve it with positive mind, I have also learnt to take things lightly and sort them out as they happen. This helps me to be free from stress and unnecessary thinking. 4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, explain how? * It has challenged me to start saving seriously towards my set goals, watch my expenses more keenly, establish my goals and plan how I will accomplish each one of them. I have also learnt that I can divide my goals into portions, which I will tackle easily. Setting deadlines and spending at least 10min daily on my set goals will help me fulfill my goals. * Decide what I want to do and believe no challenge can keep me from it. Some decisions are easy to make but only when there are not life threatening or so I think. Decisions that can make my life better I tend to take longer or not even making decisions at all compared to petty decisions, which cost time and money. * Learn more and being open minded, curiosity of a child and being attentive on details. I have noticed that I have not being attentive on news and will only listen to what I think is important, but now I have been challenged not to take things for granted. * Success and failure are not results of single event; failure is not going an extra mile, success taking initiative, following up persistently. Learning to live positively, learning from previous mistakes and living each day to the fullest 5. Are there ideas in the book that you totally disagree with? If so, why? * The only thing that I totally disagree with is that relationship being seen as a place to go to give not place that I go to take. I disagree with this because I am also human and expect something in return no matter how small. I have also noticed that if I give and not get anything even a thank you then I will conclude that whatever I did was unappreciated. To me relationship is a two-way traffic where you give and take. 6. What did you find most helpful Defining myself, this something that I have never thought of and it gave me some clue to know who I am and what's in me. It gave me some thoughts and can now stand or post an advert of myself. I have also learnt that I hold the ultimate power to define who I am and where I want to be. I think for a long time I did not have an identity, and that's why I usually beat around the bush when asked in an interview to tell them about myself, it has not been coming out well but now I have status. 7. In 50 words or less please describe the main idea the whole book is trying to convey. The book is trying to convey message about oneself, what I m and what I can be. Defining and knowing oneself inside out. It has also stated how to face situations no matter how difficult, and that everything is possible with a positive mental attitude. Please rate the following questions on a scale from 1 to 10. Ten is good and one is poor. A. How interesting was it to read? 10 Comments The New Dynamics of Winning 1. What Ideas were personally most important to you in this book? Do not simply list the ideas, but explain or discuss why they were important to you, using personal examples. Don’t become so well adapted to a specific set of circumstances that you can’t change when conditions begin to fluctuate. This is common with working people like me who fear change and comfort myself that its better the devil I know than the angle I don’t know. I noticed that if I go for an interview with 50/50 mindset then I’m not keen on interview questions and tend to console myself that after all I am not desperate, even though I m not comfortable financially with the current employer I tend to have the fear of unknown. My physical well-being is my most precious gift yet is something that many people cant fully appreciated until they lose it. Every time I visit a patient and especially in hospital I just tell myself how lucky I am that I am not bed ridden and that I can breath, cry, eat what I want and even laugh uncontrollably. I appreciate my being alive and healthy, every morning when I wake up I thank God for giving me yet another healthy day and I don’t take it for granted my being healthy given that there are so many people who don’t wake up like I do or if they do then they wake up with some illness Winners sit up front. From the first row you can interact with the instructor, see and hear from the best vantage point, be noticed when your raise your hand and be in a position to ask more personal questions immediately following the session, I had always been a back bencher and of course not doing well in class as teachers gave less attention to students seated behind. And so when I started developing eyes problem in college I had no choice but to move in front, I got used of sitting in front even in church and can say for sure one get first hand information unlike the person seated behind. You must believe that you are as worthy of happiness and success as anyone. You are worthy in your own way, regardless of how you may differ from others. I don’t know why one gets that feeling that you are of lesser luck or gene than your friends, neighbors or even relatives. We usually forget that we are special in our own ways and we have different gifts and talent. If we take our time to know ourselves better and what we can and cannot do then we will be even better as we will spend more valuable time doing things that will satisfy us more other than regretting of what we don’t have or cannot reach. Believing and trusting in oneself is the key thing. 2. Can you relate the ideas or concepts in this book to your personal circumstances in life such as your relationships, your beliefs, your goals, your values, etc? Please use personal examples in your explanation. Expect the best, plan for the worst and prepare to be surprised. This the best thing I have learnt from this book because I think most of the time I just sit expecting nothing and un prepared and so when something struck it really hit me hard. I remember sometimes last year I had a house help who was so good with my family and I never thought she could just leave and so when she told me that after her holiday break in April she will not come back I felt like hitting her given that I was expectant, I did not take it kindly as I thought I was the best employer and treated her just like one of us. I concluded she ought to have stayed with me till I get tired of here services and not vise verse. After she had left I realized that I did not even give her a chance to explain herself why she was not coming back or if it was something we could have rectified together. She is gone but I learnt a lesson. Nothing damages self-esteem as much as being singled out in public. I remember when I was in lower primary school we use to have this radio broadcasting subjects like science, English and even History. We could be combined like 3 classes in same stream to listen to one radio. One day the teacher in charge caught my friend and I making noise and she called us in front, put her hands under our dress and pitched us really HARD. I will never forget that day and the teacher who did this to us; it was the most embarrassing moment in my primary school life. We were really laughed at by other students and become the joke of the class; other students and especially boys started making fun of us. My parents had to interfere as it had started affecting my performance. But up to date whenever I go upcountry and meet with that teacher I feel really bad and wished she had whipped us instead. Things changed when we went to the next class and she changed from being our subject teacher but she still remained in the same school. I flare to anger quickly and become defensive in situations that call for calmness and reason, most of the time I become a victim of flaring to anger, like for example when my daughter was not feeding well I could really cause on her and get worked up to an extend of myself not eating and with time I started getting tired and wishing that dinner time could just come and pass in my absence. With time I stopped bothering her or pressuring her to finish her food, slowly she changed by herself and became the best in the whole family. Sometimes its good to be observant and get to the roots of why things are happening the way they are. I came to learn later that she was taking a lot of tea after school and so by the time dinner was served, she was already too full to take more and within a stipulated time. 3. What are the most important new ideas or concepts you learned from this book? Please Explain. You need to feel love inside yourself before you can offer it to anyone else and even the bible state that you love your neighbor the way you love yourself, but our culture is different we were not taught how to love or to be loved and like me I grew up knowing that lover is as a forbidden word as sex and was meant only for big people as in adults only. I don’t remember ever in my childhood being told by either of my parents that they loved me. I understand what love is and its importance, I always tell my children that I love them but it does not come out easily and clearly it kind of chokes me as I had a different attitude towards love for such a long long time. I also have problems loving myself, as I tend to think I will be looked at as being greedy and selfish. But I know it’s important to be loved and to love. How can I make myself aware of procrastination, what are some of the things I tell myself when I m are trying to put something off? I have learnt the importance of knowing what holds me back from moving forward, I think I have dozens of procrastinations. I will tell myself that its impossible to perform a certain task or such a thing requires a genius to perform. I also think laziness contributes a lot. For example when I tell myself that I need time to think about an issue, I have noticed that if its something that I was not into it then I will even delay more and with time I get carried off in making decision. 4. Has this book challenged or changed your thinking in any way? If so, explain how? The book has challenged me on especially waiting for other people to take me for fishing. Sometimes I tend to rely on other peoples decisions whether good or bad, whether affecting me or not. I have just learnt the importance of being independen | |
